Jil in Pattaya

Moving On

2008-03-06T11:42:00.003+07:00

I'm in The Philippines now and getting settled in. Check out my new blog at http://junglejil.blogspot.com/. Stop by and see the further adventures of Jil Wrinkle!

Quotacious

2008-03-01T11:01:00.001+07:00

"According to the Washington Post, Barack Obama and actress Scarlett Johansson are email buddies. Apparently they email each other back and forth. So, you've got a 23-year-old gorgeous, blonde actress emailing a married presidential candidate. Well, what could go wrong there? Not to be outdone today, John McCain admitted he had been exchanging flirty emails with Angela Lansbury."

— Jay Leno

A Safe Alternative Energy Source?

2008-02-29T10:25:00.002+07:00

A 100-meter tall wind turbine meets a 100-kph breeze.

No. She. Can't.

2008-02-29T10:09:00.005+07:00

Somebody with a few more minutes to spare than I do does the math: At this point, it is statistically impossible for Hillary to win the Democratic nomination for President. Assuming an even split of superdelegates with Obama, Hillary must win 65% of Ohio and 65% of Texas, AND get all of the delegates from Florida and Michigan who were disqualified by the DNC to be counted as well in order to come close enough to Obama to make Pennsylvania meaningful.

Good job America. I think you're going to nominate and elect the right guy for these times and circumstances.

A New Record At Bob's

2008-02-24T19:15:00.003+07:00

Bob's BBQ has a standing offer for anyone interested, called The Wagon Wheel Challenge. If you can eat one of Bob's Wagon Wheel Burgers (about 3 pounds total weight, price range 400 to 500 baht depending on toppings) including the french fries in under 45 minutes, Bob will put your name on the Wagon Wheel Hall of fame (a plaque on the wall of his restaurant), put your picture on his website, and knock half the price off your burger.

I had never seen anybody successfully complete one of these monstrous 8-inch burgers in under 45 minutes, though I have witnessed several attempts. However, today, this fellow in the photo came in and took the challenge. (To give you an idea of this man's size, Bob is about 5-foot-10.) This guy ate a 3-pound hamburger (with bacon and cheese) — and a big serving of french fries — in 9½ minutes! That's the equivalent of eating a McDonald's quarter pounder every 45 seconds... not including the time spent on eating the french fries.

Anyway, this record may not be broken for a while, but you are still free to stop by and take the Wagon Wheel Challenge whenever you want.

A Video From The Philippines

2008-02-24T18:45:00.003+07:00

I forgot how much I enjoyed the music when I was living in Brazil. It's too bad that the English-speaking world is so hesitant to listen to music in other languages, because there is so much good stuff out there to listen to (especially nowadays). Fortunately, some bands (CSS from Brazil springs immediately to mind) are putting out their music in English and enjoying a lot of success because of it.

I listened to a fair amount of the music in Thailand, and found only a few songs that made it halfway to good... so going overseas for your music doesn't always pay dividends. However, the Philippines has a real treasure trove of good music to listen to, and I'm really looking forward to getting to know more of it when I move there.

Anyway, check out this video by Rivermaya, called "214". It's one of the better songs I've heard in a while (even if it is a bit dated)... and yes, it's in English.

I'm Not Recommending TQ2 Anymore

2008-02-21T18:08:00.007+07:00

OK. Let me explain this. There are two owners of the bar called TQ2 here in Pattaya: One is Mem, who is the widow of my old friend Steve. She "inherited" the controlling half of the bar when Steve died a year ago. The other owner is Alf, who bought half of the bar from Steve on what was unfortunately more or less a handshake and Steve's word.

The only thing that kept Alf's share of the bar and profits where it belonged (with Alf) was the bar manager, Russ.

Russ is a gogo bar guru. He managed to turn TQ2 into a fairly profitable enterprise in a very short period of time, and made sure that Alf got his money and Mem got her money. Mem didn't have to do anything: All she had to do was show up and pick up her share of the profits.

Instead, what Mem did — the day after Alf went on vacation to Australia — was to fire Russ.

Based on the number of times that Mem tried to walk out Alf's share of the profits, and the number of times the Russ managed to stop her (along with the number of times she actually succeeded), it is pretty safe to assume that the only reason Mem fired Russ is because she wants to steal Alf's money and Alf's share of the bar.

I know Alf is a regular reader of this blog, and if he wants to comment and shed a different light on the situation than I just did, I'll be more than happy to add his thoughts and edit what I've written here. But for now, knowing what I know, I have to take a stand and warn you about what kind of person you are supporting when you patronize TQ2 from this point forward.

All in all, it's a very sad thing. I know Steve is turning in his grave.

Alf in the comments section says: "TQ2 has been going now for 17 years. It's had it's ups and downs, but it's still there. That's why I love it so much. I'll be back in TQ2 in early April and hope to see you there. Those of you who I don't know come over and say hi and it'll be my pleasure to buy you a drink."

All I can say Alf, is if you can manage to keep your share of the bar to which you have almost no claim, receive your fair share of the profits which you're never allowed to see, and keep TQ2 from being driven into the ground when you have no managerial control, by a woman who is bound and determined to rob you blind, over whom you have no authority, I'll be the one to buy you a drink, with all apologies for having doubted you... and I'll buy that drink in TQ2 when I next come back to Thailand if it is still open.

Sorry Alf, but I can't stand Mem... nobody who knew Steve can. We all despise her. Any bad thing you can think about a Thai woman — you know as well as I do — you can think it about Mem. I refuse to let that woman live the good life on my dollar, because she doesn't deserve it: She stole it from you, my good friend.

UPDATE:

By the way everyone: The word from my friend Ray is that he knows where Russ (and his son Lance) will be managing next, and he'll be announcing it on the Pattaya Secrets board before the end of the weekend.

UPDATE:

I'm just going to add as one more thought that I had: Alf is going to get TQ2 back eventually. Mem is going to run the place into the ground in no time, she'll default on the rent within a few months, and Alf and friends will be there to snatch TQ2 right out of that woman's greedy and incompetent little hands, and she'll wind up with nothing. When that happens, all party roads will once again lead to TQ2.

See you there. See you then.

Update On The Move

2008-02-19T09:53:00.002+07:00

Well, things are slowly getting smoothed out here for the upcoming move. Epril and I will be leaving Pattaya, Thailand on March 1st, moving to Cagayn De Oro in The Philippines. We've got the house (see below), and the view (see below). The cable is connected, the phone is working, and my landlord has just finished giving the inside of house some TLC, and everything is sparkling and ready for our arrival.

As for the blog, this one isn't going to be updated that much anymore. However, it will be here for posterity for all eternity as far as I know. I've got a new blog set up, "Jungle Jil" (name chosen by Epril, actually) which is currently sitting empty, waiting for the first entries. Once I get moved and settled in, I'll start posting again.

A Video Response To C&L Late Night Music

2008-02-15T17:03:00.003+07:00

Crooks & Liars put the Cocteau Twins on their Late Night Music Club tonight, which immediately made me think of another lesser-known but equally interesting band from 4AD Records during the 1980s: Dead Can Dance (introduced to me, if I remember correctly, by a certain J.I.P. reader and very old friend of mine).

Anyway, if mystic/gothic is a flavor that interests you, check out "Rakim" below.

Compare That To Twenty Years Ago

2008-02-12T15:39:00.000+07:00

About twenty years ago this month, I was standing on the hangar deck of the USS Nimitz about 8:00 in the morning. At sunrise, we had passed between the north and south islands of Japan. I was standing there watching the islands slip away behind us in hangar bay 3. The rearmost aircraft elevator was down at hangar level... which gave the hangar deck a little bit more daylight than usual.

Then, there was a loud buzzing of propellers, and about 150 feet away from the side of the ship, and about 300 feet up, passed a Russian Bear going from fore to aft. It was banked a fair amount, probably so that the air crew could get a good look at us. They were so low, they probably were looking eye to eye with the folks in the bridge 15 decks above where I was standing.

So, it is with a small amount of mirth that I read CNN's breathless account of a Russian bomber "buzzing" the Nimitz at an altitude of 2,000 feet, with another bomber coming "within 50 miles" of my old ship. Puh-leeze. For those of us that served in the Navy before the cold war ended, that's child's play.

Avoid Traveling To Or Through Dubai At All Costs

2008-02-09T08:52:00.000+07:00

I'm not joking.

A father-of-three who was found with a microscopic speck of cannabis stuck to the bottom of one of his shoes has been sentenced to four years in a Dubai prison.

Keith Brown, a council youth development officer, was travelling through the United Arab Emirates on his way back to England when he was stopped as he walked through Dubai's main airport.

A search by customs officials uncovered a speck of cannabis weighing just 0.003g - so small it would be invisible to the naked eye and weighing less than a grain of sugar - on the tread of one of his shoes. ...

A 25-year-old Briton who was found with a similar speck in one pocket as he arrived on holiday has been awaiting sentence since November.

Meanwhile a Big Brother TV executive has so far been held without charge for five days after being arrested for possessing the health supplement melatonin. ...

One man has even been jailed for possession of three poppy seeds left over from a bread roll he ate at Heathrow Airport. Painkiller codeine is also banned. ...

Last night campaign group Fair Trials International advised visitors to Dubai and Abu Dhabi to "take extreme caution".

Chief Executive Catherine Wolthuizen said: "We have seen a steep increase in such cases over the last 18 months.

"Customs authorities are using highly sensitive new equipment to conduct extremely thorough searches on travellers and if they find any amount — no matter how minute — it will be enough to attract a mandatory four-year prison sentence."

I don't care how straight-laced and upstanding you are. Based on this article, if you go to Dubai — or through Dubai, as many people traveling between Europe and Thailand do — by dint of just by stepping foot in that country, you are risking your freedom.

Daily Report: I'm Going To Miss This

2008-02-08T23:13:00.000+07:00

I was up nice and early today. Maid Go has been working days at her new employer's house, and evenings here (I don't have that much to do) and had already left by the time I made it downstairs at 7:30.

Epril and I spent the morning in front of the computers, and then at lunchtime, Epril went over to her friend Beth's house for a pinoy picnic with Riza and Honey Mae. I stayed home.

This evening, it was over to Stan's house for our usual cocktails and watching Weakest Link. Then at 7:00 we met up with Jeff, Mark, and Eric at Flamboyant (Pattaya's best restaurant) for dinner. I had the sole while Epril had a steak. Stan and Eric shared the chateaubriand which I sampled, and it was outstanding. We had 3 bottles of a nice cabernet to wash it all down.

After that, Epril and I stopped by to visit with Ray, Sam, and Manfred — as well as Alf, who was visiting from TQ2 — at Shooters. After a couple of rounds there, it was off home to bed.

Phonebook Friction

2008-02-08T14:26:00.000+07:00

Something you didn't know you wanted to know: If you interlace the pages of two phonebooks they are impossible to pull apart.

Daily Report: Light Blogging Apologies

2008-02-07T18:36:00.000+07:00

Sorry about having been so light on the blogging lately. I just been focusing my attention elsewhere for the past few weeks. Got a lot to think about... The move mostly: What to do with my stuff I'll be leaving behind, the finances associated with moving, and the cats. (Anybody know a veterinarian in Pattaya who can fill out a National Health Affadavit? Anybody know how to fix the registration of a motorcycle that has been registered as the wrong color?)

Epril and I are having fun at Geordan's aikido classes twice a week, and lunch once a week with Stan. We're still doing our Friday night dinners out with the gang... but the thought of spending a few hours putting together a restaurant review these days is too daunting.

Anyway, that's it for now. Check back later for more updates... I'll keep writing.

Superbowl Ads Are Up

2008-02-05T08:52:00.000+07:00

The one thing that sucks about the watching Superbowl in Thailand is that you don't get to see the ads. Fortunately, Time magazine has them all up on the internet (with grades... and I think they were much too generous, as these ads mostly suck). Well, gotta keep the link around for posterity.

Yes We Can

2008-02-03T09:28:00.000+07:00

Will.I.Am of The Black Eyed Peas has written a pro-Obama song and made a heck of a video to go with it.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation: Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom: Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness: Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land:

Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics; they will only grow louder and more dissonant. We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea:

Yes. We. Can.

Got My Taxes Done, Thank You Turbotax

2008-02-02T08:21:00.000+07:00

I had started off my tax preparations this year by going to H&R Block and having a tax preparer assigned to me. I've always had somebody else prepare my taxes because I've always been convinced that the vagaries and mysteries of living overseas and claiming the Overseas Tax Credit are best left to a professional.

However, after my H&R Block highly-qualified and official Assigned Tax Preparer proceeded to blow me off for an entire week while I sent e-mails asking "Did you get this?" "Can you do that?" "Do you need this?" "Did I mention I'm in a hurry?" I decided to go look at Turbotax online.

Man, I feel dumb: Doing my taxes by myself was easy. Turbotax asks, and you answer. The site has been programmed for every contingency, and together, Turbotax and I skipped blihely through the Overseas Tax Credit, the Physical Presence Test, and the accompanying forms. Forms? Actually, I didn't see any forms at all... just little boxes to type in and buttons to make selections.

So anyway, after completing my forms (to see if I could), I went ahead and fired H&R Block and sent my taxes via Turbotax. (Total cost, $65 for state and federal taxes.)

My tax forms were instantly rejected by the IRS and New York State: In order to "e-file" your taxes, you have to have an "e-signature", which is simply typing in the amount of money you made in 2006, after deductions... called the "Adjusted Gross Income". Since I didn't make more than $82,500 in 2006 (the value of the Overseas Tax Credit), my Adjusted Gross Income was zero. The IRS and New York State tax computers can't have you submitting an e-signature of "0" apparently.

Anyway, Turbotax notified me by e-mail, I went to the site, the Turbotax computer explained the problem, automatically adjusted my tax papers, filled out an extra little form for me to sign and drop in the mail, and then filed my taxes again.

Sorry. I'm sure that most of you reading have been doing this for 4 or 5 years now. You'll have to excuse my wide-eyed enthusiasm... I'm new here.

Well, in the past 3 years when other people have filed my taxes for me, something has always gone wrong and my tax refund has always been waylaid in one form or another by one party or another. If anything goes wrong this year... and it probably will... at least (or unfortunately) it will be my fault.

Bob Bakes A Big Burger

2008-01-30T19:11:00.000+07:00

Bob cooked another one of his world-record-sized hamburgers today, this time at the order of a Japanese film crew doing a documentary on Pattaya. The film crew asked nicely not to put their stars faces on the internet, so I haven't, but apparently they are famous in Japan. Being famous in Japan is like being a good-looking armadillo: Nobody except the armidillos are aware of it. But, if you do know any Japanese people famous for wearing a dish towel as a bandanna, please let me know in comments.

President Bush Will Cut Spending

2008-01-29T16:15:00.001+07:00

Bush said he would cut or eliminate 151 "wasteful or bloated" government programs in his budget for 2009 -- cuts he said would total $18 billion of a budget that amounted to $3 trillion in 2008.

Hmm...

$3 trillion is the same as $3,000 billion. $18 billion of $3,000 billion is a 0.6% cut. Or, approximately the amount of money required to cover the cost of operating the war in Iraq for 2 weeks.

Now, I'm no fan of "wasteful or bloated" government operations, but when I think of "wasteful or bloated", my mind tends to wander towards the things the government does that cost $1 billion per day... not $1 billion per year.

Remember this, if you are an American: You currently owe $30,000 to the federal government in taxes above and beyond what you are paying already. You can either pay for it by paying higher taxes or by reducing government services by an equivalent amount. No: There is not a third choice.

World's Best Maid For Hire

2008-01-29T10:38:00.000+07:00

I'll be leaving Thailand soon, and it is time to help Maid Go find a new home to clean.

As you know, Maid Go has been working for me for 2½ years... an eternity for domestic help in Thailand. Quite simply, she is as reliable and dedicated a maid as you can ever hope to find. In addition, she has her own motorbike, and is more than happy to drive all over Pattaya for you running chores, doing the shopping, and paying bills. She even is really good at reminding you in advance when things need to be done. She knows how to cook a few really good pasta dishes, and lots of different Thai dishes. She learns new receipes that you might like pretty easily.

Go is startingly neat. She will take great care of your wardrobe, keep the entire house inside and out very clean. She will weed the garden, clean the gutters, and do heavy work as well.

Finally, did I mention that she is a masseuse? Trained at Wat Po, the world capital of Thai massage. That's really handy to have around after a stressful day, believe me.

So, if you are interested in hiring Maid Go, either as a live-in, 24-hour domestic assistant, or a once-or-twice-weekly cleaner-upper, let me know in the comments section. Trust me here if you're not a big reader of this blog: If I didn't think Maid Go wasn't the best maid you will ever find, I wouldn't be writing all of this.

Daily Report: Back To Cambodia

2008-01-28T23:10:00.000+07:00

Epril and I did a visa run today: an old-fashioned, out-to-Cambodia visa run. It's the first visa run like that for me in eight months actually.

I couldn't get in touch with my old visa run company, and instead went to Key Visa Run, and they hooked me up with a tour group that does visa runs, called "Good Tour Pattaya."

I can't say it was much fun.

First off, this particular visa run company picks up people all over Pattaya, instead of having all of the visa runners meet at one place. We were picked up at 6:10 a.m. in front of Key Visa on Soi LK Metro, and then we drove around Pattaya for almost an hour picking up more people.

The secret to a good visa run is getting to the border early, before the crowds arrive. NB: The crowds are the people who use Good Tour Pattaya, who delivered van after van after van of visa runners. Instead of a brisk 30 minutes at the border as with earlier visa runs, we were 2 hours. Thus, our total visa run time was extended by an hour at the beginning running around Pattaya, and 90 minutes at the border. Instead of returning back to Pattaya at 1:30 in the aftenoon, it was 4:00.

Also, this visa run company — presumably all visa run companies — now have a bit of a scam going on. Welllll... it's not a scam per se. I have to be careful about that. Let me explain:

Thai border officials can refuse a visa to a person arriving at the border if that person cannot produce a ticket (or other evidence) that shows that he or she will be leaving Thailand within the time period of the visa they are requesting (e.g. 30 days). This is the law... and I believe it always has been; it has just never been enforced.

What I believe the visa companies have done is gone to the border agents and said, "Look: You enforce this law, demand to see an onward ticket, and we'll sell bus tickets (which will never be used) out of Thailand to the people doing the visa runs. You get some money, we get some money. Deal?"

So, when Epril and I got to the border, with no proof to show that we would be leaving Thailand in the next 30 days, we were forced (and I will emphasize legally forced) to buy two 200-baht bus tickets in order to get our 30-day visas.

Now, I will say that it could be the other way around, and the border agents said that they were going to start enforcing the "ticket" law, and told the visa companies to start selling the tickets. Like I said, I use the word "scam" only in the sense that it is an unexpected expense that Epril and I were only told about once we arrived at the border at which point it was too late to do anything about it. Any person who shows up at the border with proper onward ticketing does not have to purchase the 200-baht bus ticket.

All in all though, it is just one more sour visa run experience here in Thailand that I'm really happy to be escaping from. Remember kids: Right now, you can stay in The Philippines for up to 16 months on a single tourist visa, renewing every 2 months for 3,000 pesos in most major cities in The Philippines at the Department of Immigration, including where I'll be living in Cagayan De Oro.

Somebody asked me why I'm moving to The Philippines, and I realized that I really had not explained why. Well, I'll get around to all the reasons at some point, but visa runs and their ever-increasing difficulty here in Thailand is definitely one of the top three reasons.

Top 100 Stand-Up Comedians Of All Time

2008-01-27T08:17:00.000+07:00

Via Crooks and Liars. My favorite comes in at #41: The inimitable Eddie Izzard:

Here are the Crooks and Liars Top Ten Stand Up Commedians from their top-100 list, with links to other videos:
1. Lenny Bruce
2. Richard Pryor
3. Woody Allen
4. Mort Sahl
5. Buddy Hackett
6. George Carlin
7. Eddie Murphy
8. Richard Lewis
9. Robin Williams
10. Rodney Dangerfield

Quotacious

2008-01-26T09:18:00.000+07:00

"Let me get this straight: Obama wins Iowa. In a desperate move — unprecedented for an ex-President in American politics — Bill Clinton decides to impede Obama's momentum by inserting himself into the campaign. He attacks Obama on an almost daily basis, sometimes falsely. He makes a spectacle of himself. And then he blames the press for not covering the substance of the campaign?"

— Joe Klein.

Thanks George

2008-01-25T09:55:00.000+07:00

I hear that George Bush is sending out orders to have the IRS mail me a check for $600 next year as a kind of "sorry the economy is screwed up" gift.

Well, for me, that $600 is just going to wind up in my bank account and get spent along with the rest of my cash... barely even noticed.

For the rest of you Americans though, I'm sure that $600 will come in very handy in getting your $250,000 house out of foreclosure.

Pattaya Now Has Taxis

2008-01-24T16:33:00.000+07:00

I saw these two taxis today on Beach Road. If you'll notice they say "Pattaya Taxi" on the windsheilds. They seem to be standard meter taxis which Pattaya has never had before. The Thai urge to scam tourists seems to be alive and well, however: I talked to one of the drivers, and he quoted me 200 baht to go to Jomtien. No mention of using the meter. I imagine a similar distance in Bangkok in a proper metered taxi would be about half that. Looks to be strictly transportation for tourists who don't know any better.

Aikido Lessons In Pattaya

2008-01-24T16:15:00.000+07:00

Epril and I are taking a series of Aikido martial arts classes with our friend Geordan Reynolds at the martial arts center in Mike Shopping Mall, 4th floor. For those of you who don't know, Aikido is the martial art that focuses primarily on using an attacker's energy against him or her, while minimizing your own effort and minimizing injury to all parties involved. It is a particularly good martial art for the old, the small, and the weak, because strength is not a requirement.

Geordan loves to teach, and anybody who is interested in taking classes (very reasonably priced) can e-mail Geordan at edu.specialists@gmail.com.

My Simple View Of Things

2008-01-24T16:09:00.000+07:00

At this point, it is down to three choices: We can elect a guy who is going to keep on doing pretty much the same stuff that George Bush has done, we can re-elect Bill Clinton, or we can vote for Obama.

I Wanna Know

2008-01-22T18:57:00.000+07:00

OK... head over to the comments section: It's groupthink time.

If there is a world wide recession/depression, what do you think will happen to the value of the US Dollar, especially vis-a-vis the Thai Baht?

My personal opinion is that the bigger, better-known currencies, linked to bigger, more-influential economies will fare better in a worldwide economic slowdown. Smaller currencies (like the Baht), linked to smaller economies will simply have to hang on and pray.

My Prediction

2008-01-22T11:56:00.000+07:00

John McCain will win the Republican nomination. He'll either beat Hillary Clinton in the election, or he'll lose to Barack Obama.

Daily Report: Blue Monday

2008-01-21T22:09:00.000+07:00

Sorry about the light blogging here at J.I.P. lately. I've been enjoying a bit of time away from the responsibility of putting up posts every day. I haven't been doing anything particularly noteworthy lately... although I did go out to TQ2 with Epril on Sunday night and saw all my friends.

Anyway, I'm still here, the weather is gorgeous, and Thailand is as interesting as ever. Wish you were here.

Interesting Article

2008-01-21T10:12:00.000+07:00

From The Independent in England:

On average, about 50 civilian UK nationals are murdered around the world each year (excluding terrorist attacks). This means that almost 10 per cent of all murders of Britons abroad are committed in Thailand – a chilling figure, given that Thailand comprises only 0.6 per cent of all foreign travel from UK shores.

...

The number of deaths of British nationals' in Pattaya is hard to ascertain – though some sources claim that it is up to four every week, neither the FCO nor the Thai authorities have any data they are prepared to release. However, what can be speculated with some confidence is that of the 226 average annual deaths of British citizens in Thailand recorded by the FCO, a large percentage are in Pattaya.

...

"The trouble with [giving advice about the murder rate]... is that it would effectively highlight the number of murders over the past year or more here, which in the current circumstances could have a disproportionate impact on Thailand's reputation and legitimate commercial interests."

It Beats Graduate School

2008-01-18T09:55:00.000+07:00

I was reading this article on the American military's struggle to retain its officers, and the opportunities it has created for those officers who remain. The line that struck me was, "If you breathe, you make lieutenant colonel these days." The other thing that struck me was that military officers are being heavily recruited for middle-management positions by private firms... salaries starting around $70,000 per year.

If I was college bound, or was advising a college-bound kid, I would advise going into ROTC right now. The military officer corps is wide open for promotion, and the private sector economy is heading for the skids. Assuming that the next White House administration is going to scale back operations in Iraq and Afghanistan quite a bit, and deployments are going to become "safer" in the future (which I think will happen), a career as a military officer will mean at least shelter from a sluggish or depressed economy as well as a ticket to a lucrative middle-management job in 5 years' time... or a 25-year career that puts you up in the O-6 (colonel) or O-7 (general) range, retirement before the age of 50, and a pension that would give you an incredibly nice 30-plus years of senior living... or a combination of the two.

(Hey: I'm 38 years old. If I had become an officer after college, I would be major now, 4 years away from a 20-year retirement paying me $3,000 per month for as long as I live.)

Daily Report: Housing Settled, Blog Not

2008-01-17T08:55:00.000+07:00

I've been over-sleeping a bit lately. I think the reason is that the sun is rising much later now than it did in the summer time (as it tends to do). I wait until the sun is up — at about 7:00 — before contemplating wakefulness.

I've been in touch with my next landlord in Cagayan in the Philippines, and he has a photo of my new front yard (which I forgot to snap while there during Christmas). So I present to you the view from my next house.As soon as the tax refund arrives, I'll be making the move to The Philippines.

I haven't figured out whether I'll rename the blog or not, or keep it as a Pattaya blog, and then start a second Cagayan Blog, or change this blog to a Cagayan blog.

Right now, the plan is to just keep posting about Pattaya news as it happens, post about my life in Cagayan, and add Cagayan news as well. I'm thinking about having one of my friends come on as a blogger as well to do some occasional writing about his life in Pattaya to keep a local perspective.

Anyway, give me some feedback if you have any other ideas or input for what I should do with the blog when I move to The Philippines in a month or two.

Daily Report: Moving Along

2008-01-15T22:55:00.000+07:00

I'm relaxing a little bit from blogging this past weekend: After all, hobbies are enjoyable because you can put them down and walk away from them from time to time.

Work is fair. I was out with Stan today for lunch at Dao Café. I finally got a virus off of Epril's computer, which she downloaded through Yahoo Messenger. The weather has been spectacular here in Pattaya... as it manages to be for about 2 weeks per year: Cool (85°) and sunny at the same time.

Quotacious

2008-01-11T09:21:00.000+07:00

"Bill Clinton has never been a classy person. But I think his conduct over the last couple of weeks is tacky even for him. Think about it for a minute. Here is a former president going out on the campaign trail in the early primaries and trashing one of his own party's greatest new talents. Can you recall any other president doing such a thing in an election campaign? The abuse he has heaped on Obama both tarnishes his former office and cheapens his role as an elder statesman in the Democratic party."

— Andrew Sullivan.

Daily Report: Close to Perfect on the Recipe

2008-01-10T23:01:00.000+07:00

Up early, but laid around in the sunshine which streams directly onto my bed every morning, nice long shower, blogged, and enjoyed my coffee until mid-morning. Then I got to work. Go and Epril went to Fuji and brought home dumplings and makizushi for lunch.

In the afternoon, Epril and I listened to music. I'm always surprised about which music Epril is familiar with, and which she has never heard before. For example, today I found out that she knows all of Toto's music by heart, but had never heard anything by Supertramp.

In the evening, I had leftovers from our Fuji lunch. I also worked on matching Bob's strawberry margarita recipe. He gave me the basic instructions, and I worked on simplifying the formula, and have finally gotten my own version: One large shot glass of lime juice, one large shot glass of sugar, 8 strawberries, 2 large shot glasses of tequila, 2 large shot glasses of triple sec, and a double handful of ice, all in a blender. It isn't quite as good as Bob's, but it's about 90%.

On television, Epril and I watched a billiard trick shot competition, "The Amazing Race, Asia", and "24", and then we went to bed.

Daily Report: Dancing Not Boxing

2008-01-09T22:50:00.000+07:00

I lazed around in bed this morning, enjoying lying in the sunshine coming through the window. After that I watched the results of the New Hampshire primary on the internet. (I have no idea why I grew this intense interest in politics 10 or 15 years ago... I used to be all about Star Trek.)

I got a fair morning of work done. Then took a break for lunch (just some steamed peas), and got a little more work done in the afternoon.

At 3:30, I was out with Franky and his friend Amber to a late lunch at Jerry's poolside restaurant. Then it was back home for some blogging. Franky and Amber came back over to watch "Contender, Asia" (which is for muay thai boxing). Unfortunately, I was mistaken about the date (but not the day): It premiers next Wednesday.

Instead, we watched the movie "Happy Feet", which we all enjoyed thoroughly.

Peace Or War Coin Toss

2008-01-09T22:21:00.000+07:00

I'm kind of torn here: I don't want America getting into another idiotic war, especially with a country as pointless and worthless and powerless as Iran. But then, the other half of me really really wants to see some beligerent pissants in blue speed boats get blown straight to kingdom come, damn the consequences.

I try hard to be consistent on this blog. Oh well. I'd rather be honest.

I know: Blow them to kingdom come, and then apologize, and pay a couple million bucks to Iran. Repeat as often as necessary... or as long as it is entertaining. Besides: What's Iran going to do that it isn't doing already? (What harm could it do to America's reputation that hasn't been done already?)

OK. Time to put war-monger Jil back in the closet.

Update:

It looks like Glenn Greenwald agrees with JD from the comments section, and believes some of the video and story is fabricated. Point taken. However, Glenn and I also agree that Iranian speed boats harassing American Navy war vessels (which they did to at least some degree) is a stupid idea... just ask the passengers of the Iranian airliner shot down by the USS Vincennes back in 1988 about that.

Harris Black Tries To Be Liked

2008-01-09T19:54:00.002+07:00

Pattaya's most famous sociopath and convicted rapist, and JIP Wannabe, Harris Black, is back on the internet again, trying to get people to like him the only way he can anymore: As an anonymous poster named "Piker" over at Thaivisa.com, trying to create a "Daily Report" type post on the Pattaya Forum called "What I Saw In Pattaya Today."

He's got the same pointless observations about his day as I do in my daily reports, he has photos of the dishes he eats, reports on local tourist destinations, and even panaromic views from his natty studio apartment. What's funny though is he adds photos of the smiling faces of Thai salesgirls he bumps into as if to say, "See, not everyone gives me a sneering look of contempt when they look at me."

Well, after a bit more nosing around, it looks like Pattaya may be losing Harris soon, as he is apartment hunting in Hua Hin, where probably fewer people recognize him, and fewer bar girls want to kill him. (Hint on the recognizing thing Harris: Name change, beard, do-rag, and sunglasses. Don't knock it till you've tried it.) Although how he can survive on 30,000 baht per month is beyond me... that's less than I get by on per week. Well, I suppose when you have no friends and no social life, it's possible.

Heheh... OK, that's enough enjoyment for now making fun and hurting the feelings of a dispicable little man's sad attempt at trying to be like me.

UPDATE:

Heh. That was short-lived. "Piker" has been banned from Thaivisa.com. Oh well.

UPDATE 2:

Checkidout: Harris likes to tease me about my weight, but it turns out he is almost as fat as I am.

(Okay, okay... I'm really am done teasing him now. Back to posts with a point.)

Read about Harris' newest scam here.

Pattaya News Roundup

2008-01-09T17:57:00.000+07:00

Hey everyone: There's a water shortage in Pattaya. Well, as I mentioned, the water has been out at my house for the better part of a week. Of course, it won't be until the rainy season before this problem goes away... sometime in March or April is about average. Then Songkran comes and everybody throws water in the streets.

It's sad that it takes an old lady tourist sitting on a hospital gurney after having fallen down a hole in the construction area on Thappraya Road that has lain dormant for a year to get any action from Pattaya City Hall on fixing Pattaya's biggest construction mess. Well, here's hoping that her injury wasn't in vain.

I'm not surprised that this kind of thing is against the law, but I had never heard anybody being arrested for taking coral before. However, it should go without saying: Don't take stuff from the ocean around Pattaya. In fact, just to be safe, it is probably best just to leave the floating plastic bags and other garbage where you find it too.

This is just what Pattaya needs actually: More naked ladies running around in the street. Seriously: If you want to increase tourism, have more naked ladies running around... even if they are crazy. I'd sit at a roadside bar all night just to watch crazy naked ladies run by every few minutes. (Well, they did get rid of the elephants that used to stop by the bars.)

My Lame Attempt At Liveblogging

2008-01-09T09:00:00.000+07:00

9:00 p.m. McCain already won, which makes Romney winning the nomination much less likely.

9:01 p.m. Hillary is in the lead now, which is hardly what the polls predicted.

9:09 p.m. Ron Paul may actually beat Rudy Giuliani tonight. Oh how I hope. In other Ron Paul news, apparently "Ron Paul Newsletters" from 20 years ago were bile-filled racist screeds. Too bad the guy might be a bigoted jerk. Can you love the message and hate the messenger? I think I'll stop mentioning "Ron Paul" the man, and from now on just say "Ron Paul's ideas may actually beat Rudy Giuliani tonight. Oh how I hope." Can I do that?

9:16 p.m. Another thing to notice tonight is that once again, Democrats and Democrat-leaning independents outnumber Republicans at the voting booths by almost 2-to-1. If Democrats can expect 60% of voters to lean liberal this upcoming election — especially in a state where only 26% of people are registered Democrats, like New Hampshire — Republicans could be in the worst trouble they have ever seen in their 150-year history.

9:19 p.m. Voter turnout looks to be huge at greater than 50%. That's amazing for a primary.

9:34 p.m. Jeez. How am I supposed to get any work done when I'm hitting the refresh button every few minutes? Guess I better try.

10:14 p.m. Well, the only thing that I can think will bring about an Obama win at this late stage tonight is if the results from Grafton County (where Dartmouth — and 5,000 college students who tend to vote overwhelmingly for Obama — is located) swings heavily toward Obama.

10:57 p.m. Results are called for Hillary by CNN, 39% to Barrack's 36%.

10:58 p.m. The weird thing is that the vote numbers which I mentioned at 9:16 have shifted quite a bit: It is now 200K voting Democrat compared to 165K Republican... which is hardly as grand as the 2-to-1 ratio it was before. Don't know why it shifted: Democrats still outnumbered Republicans by quite a bit, especially considering the "normal" political makeup of New Hampshire, but not by the great numbers originally suspected.

1:25 a.m. A new term (for me; originated in 1982) is being thrown around tonight to explain the descrepancy in polls and actual voting numbers on the Democrat side: "The Bradley Effect", which is used to describe a situation where white people say they will vote for a black candidate (or say they are "undecided") so as not to appear racist in a poll, but then vote for the white candidate instead.

Daily Report: The New Store

2008-01-08T23:00:00.000+07:00

I made several phone calls to TOT today to try to get my internet switched back on, which finally happened at about 6:00 tonight. Typical customer service in Thailand: I have three "backup" TOT numbers to call for when I have problems with my internet when the main line is jammed. Two of those numbers, the people just hung up on me when I told them I was having problems with my DSL... told them in Thai, no less.

Today was really the first day since December 20th that I put in a really full day of work in my full-speed accounts. With this past paycheck consisting of primarily vacation pay, this upcoming paycheck having last week's miserable production included in it, and the paycheck after that being used to pay for plane tickets to Laos, and the bank balance almost running on vapors while waiting for the big tax refund in a couple of months, fun money is going to be at a premium for a while. Oh well... At least I'm not going to be pulling out the credit cards this year: They expired last July and I didn't renew them.

I went to the new Tesco Lotus Express store tonight. You know: The one about which all those people have been protesting. Idiots: Since these people were thinking that this store would put them out of business, I was under the impression that this store was nothing more than a slightly oversized 7-11... something that would threaten a typical little suburban Thai "mom and pop store". That's completely wrong. This is a down-sized Tesco Lotus, with almost everything that Tesco Lotus in town has. The people who are losing business because of this Tesco Lotus Express store is the ~~Tesco Lotus Superstore~~ Carrefour on Pattaya Central Road. If I need beer, chips, milk, phone card, or some microwaved instant noodles, I'm not going to drive 2 miles to the new T.L.E. past 7 or 8 "mom and pop" stores selling the same thing. However, when I need spaghetti sauce, coffee, apples, and razor blades, I'm not going to drive 3 miles through Sukhumvit Road traffic past a place that is selling those either.

Anyway, the new T.L.E. store is off of Sukhumvit Road behind that electronic store between Soi Siam Country Club and Soi Nerm Pleubwan, or off of that little road that runs between Soi Siam Country Club and Soi Nerm Pleubwan between Sukhumvit and the railroad tracks. If you live on the East side of Sukhumvit Road, I really recommend stopping by to see if this is a place where you might want to do your grocery shopping. I'll be shopping there for simple items, but for the more uncommon stuff (parmesan cheese springs immediately to mind), I'll still be heading to the larger stores in town.

Daily Report: Yeah... The Water Too

2008-01-07T23:08:00.000+07:00

Standard morning wake-up routine: Epril wakes up with the alarm, and then climbs on top of me and pokes my nose and nuzzles me and flicks my eyelids. Then, I tickle her until she squeals and giggles. Then we go back to sleep for 20 minutes. Repeat three or four times.

I got the phone turned back on my my house, but the DSL isn't back up yet. I had a moderately poor day of work (as Mondays usually are).

So tell me about your Monday.
(source)In the afternoon, the water ran out. After a week with failing electricity, telephone, and internet, it only makes sense for the water to follow suit. We had the water truck stop by at dinnertime to fill our reserve tank up: 150 baht for 3 cubic meters of cloudy pond water. Sounds like a pretty good racket to me.

In the evening, Geoff and Honey Mae came over. Epril didn't tell them in advance that Monday night is Doctor Who night at the Jil Residence. Perhaps Epril mistakenly thought that I could have a conversation with Geoff and watch Doctor Who at the same time or something. Fortunately, Geoff (who had not seen an episode of Doctor Who in several decades) was immediately enthralled by the new Doctor Who, and the two of us (eventually joined by the two ladies) had 90 minutes of Sci-Fi heaven. (I still miss Christopher Eccleston, who some Sci-Fi guru (can't find the article... dammit Yahoo) agreed with me was the best Doctor Who ever, although this article says that David Tennant, who replaced Christopher, was polled as the favorite Doctor Who) After that, I watched "House".

At least the cable hasn't gone out yet.

Daily Report: Down But Next Door

2008-01-06T23:23:00.000+07:00

I got home on Friday night from dinner out to find that my phone line (and internet) was out. Unlike the electricity, I'm pretty sure I paid last month's phone bill... but you never know.

Since the phone company doesn't open until Monday morning, I (with Mike's gracious acquiescience) moved my entire office to Mike's living room to use his dial-up phone line for the remainder of the weekend, where I've been plugging away at work ever since.

So, sorry about the light blogging in the meantime. I'm taking up somebody else's private space in order to get work done, not entertain the masses. However, Maid Go is going to go down to the TOT offices today with this month's phone bill to pay that and let them know that my phone is out. Hopefully things will be back to normal Monday or Tuesday.

Good Websites For The Moment

2008-01-04T09:03:00.000+07:00

Iowa caucuses, up-to-the-second, constantly-refreshed results.
Democrats
Republicans

UPDATE:

Obama wins, which is cool. Huckabee wins, which is cool (for Democrats).

The most notable news this evening is that almost all the independents (one-third of Iowans) showed up at the Democrat's caucus: The number of people voting on the "D" side of the aisle almost doubled from turnout 4 years ago, while the number of Republicans turning out was only marginally improved since their last get-together. Twice as many people in Iowa voted for third-place Democrat finisher Hillary than voted for first place Republican winner Huckabee. More people cast votes for a generally unknown Democrat, Governor Bill Richardson, than for Rudy Giuliani.

It was obvious that the Republicans lost the independents back in the 2006 elections, and now it is obvious that they still haven't gotten them back... and apparently they plan on exacerbating the situation by putting up a highly-conservative, religious-right, Baptist preacher as their candidate for President.

So that's an exceptionally important thing to remember from tonight, if this trend holds true (and the reason Iowa is so important, is because that is usually the case): The one-third of America who call themselves independents are going to be leaning way over to the Democratic side this coming election. Republicans have done nothing so far to win them back.

I would guess that it is highly likely that the Democrats will win the White House, but the real question is how many more seats will Republicans lose in Congress this year? According to Cook Political Report, there are currently 22 Republican seats that Democrats could steal in the House of Representatives, and zero Democrat seats that the Republicans can conceivably win. In the Senate, up to 6 more Republican seats might fall to the Democrats this election. All the Republicans can do is keep losses to a minimum... and nominating the Reverend Huckabee for President is not a good start.

Friday Cat Blogging

2008-01-04T08:19:00.000+07:00

Poopy Cat relaxes with Epril in the morning sun.

Daily Report: Jil In The Dark

2008-01-03T22:56:00.000+07:00

I was up at a pretty early hour for my first day back to work. Back in America, this morning represented the evening of January 2nd... the end of the first day where there would be patients visiting doctors offices since breaking for the holidays a week-and-a-half ago, or at least for before New Year's last Friday.

Unfortunately, just as I was logging on, the last of the work was being finished off by my coworkers in America at 6:00 p.m. No work left over for the night shift.

Well, there was a scattering of emergency room work trickling in, and I started work on that, just happy to finally have something to do.

Then the electricity went out... and stayed out.

I'm pretty sure that the reason God invented women was to help guys like me remember when things like the electric bill are due.

Go came to me about 2 weeks ago with the bill and told me it needed to be paid, and I told her I would take care of it after I got back from vacation, and that was the last she mentioned it to me. Good execution, but poor follow-through.

Now when I was living in the mansion up on Pratumnak Hill, I also had forgotten to pay the electric bill a few times, and when the moment came for the electric company to turn off the juice, they sent a friendly fellow with a clipboard around to the house to let me know he was turning off the electricity if I didn't pay. I paid the guy the money I owed, and that was the end of it. Now, it seems the electric company just has a button with my name on it that they push somewhere. Zoop... out goes the lights. No friendly guy with a clipboard.

Fortunately, in the afternoon, after a long nap, I finally figured out that it was only my house without electricity, and I sent Maid Go down to pay the bill and get the power turned back on. My neighbors let me run an extension cord over to their house, and I had electricity to do work for the afternoon. The power company turned the house back on right around 6:00.

In the evening, it was over to visit Geoff and Honey Mae for drinks (and egg sandwiches). We sat around chatting until 10:00, until it was time to come home and watch "24".

Daily Report #1797

2008-01-02T22:54:00.000+07:00

There was still no work to do this morning, and instead I spent the time wandering around the internet... and didn't find too much of interest. (Or at least if I did, I can't remember it now.)

I had a late-morning nap, and had Indian food for late lunch.

In the evening, I watched a fascinating documentary movie on The Discovery Channel called "Grizzly Man", about Timothy Treadwell, a slightly loopy and definitely hippy guy who decided to go to Alaska to become a self-taught bear expert. He spent 13 seasons with the grizzlies, was a bee in the park rangers' bonnets, chased away tourists, and was overall questionable in his methods, motivations, and the results he achieved... but at the same time he did become a master at interacting with grizzly bears in the wild, and educated lots of people and raised awareness. He and his girlfriend were killed and eaten by the bears they loved in 2003, and the 2-hour documentary film made about him is one of the most interesting things I've watched on television in ages. I highly recommend renting the movie or watching it if you haven't yet.

Pattaya Numbers Up, But Not As Much As Hoped

2008-01-02T10:40:00.000+07:00

After a dismal 2006 tourist season, the number of tourist arrivals appears to be up in 2007 by about 10% over the previous year, but that falls below the Tourism Authority of Thailand's expectations.

I would suspect that most of the year-to-year improvement comes from an increase in Asian tourists in Pattaya. Unfortunately, these are package tourists who never frequent attractions or venues or local businesses which are not part of their rigidly-orchestrated travel schedule. These type of tourists spend very little money outside of the initial cost of their travel package, and provide very little benefit to the small businesses which represent, I would guess, about three-quarters of Pattaya's economic activity.

It's simple really: For most people in Pattaya, one 40,000-baht-per-week Caucasian sex tourist is better than forty 1,000-baht-per-week Asian package tourists.

Princess Galyani Has Died

2008-01-02T10:19:00.000+07:00

The king's eldest sister died at 3:00 a.m. on January 2nd. Thailand government agencies will be in official mourning for 15 days, and you can expect local Thai citizens to be practicing some form of grieving as well, although what effect that might have on day-to-day life here in Pattaya I cannot say.

My condolences to His Majesty and the Royal Family.

Daily Report: Friends In Distress

2008-01-01T23:37:00.000+07:00

I didn't bother doing any work today, primarily because there was none to do. Instead, I'm putting in for some more vacation time over these few days to cover the lack of work. I spent most of the day blogging instead, and got the rest of the photos from my trip put up.

Riza's grandmother in The Philippines died today, and Mike and she went to the airport to see if they could get her on a flight to Manila. (Being New Year's Day, all the travel agents were closed.) They finally succeeded in finding a flight at 1:00 a.m. This was Riza's first grandparent to pass, and she was a wreck. She should be back here in Thailand in a week or so. She of course gets my condolences.

I also went with Epril to visit Willie at his house today. He is laid up in bed for the next few weeks while he recovers from being in a motorcycle accident. He has a good-sized cut across his nose and eyebrow, quite a bad cut around his outer three toes on his foot, and the worst injury is an extremely deep lengthwise gouging slice into his arm.

Willie was coming home from a bar, but wasn't drunk. He was pulling out into traffic on Second Road when he got T-boned by a guy driving on his motorcycle way too fast. (I kind of wish Willie was really drunk and caused the accident himself: I hate being reminded that you can be doing everything right while out on the road, and still have calamity find you.) Anyway, Willie is pretty pained, and Epril and I will be stopping by to see him as often as we can.

Epril and I spent the evening watching Law & Order, and then a documentary on Francis Scott Powers, and his U2 shoot-down.

Filed Under "WTF?"

2008-01-01T16:24:00.000+07:00

Thugs in Pattaya are really getting flagrant — and police are really getting impotent — if this scene captured by Pattaya City News is any indication: A gang of guys were beating the crap out of two other guys on Third Road. One police officer showed up and tried to intervene, and even discharged his firearm into the air an attempt to stop the fight. When the assailants were finished, they walked away from the police officer to a waiting car (first photo, here on the right), got in and drove away while a second mounted motorcycle officer watched them drive away, while his gun was pointed at them (second photo). "No further police action was taken" according to Pattaya City News.

Either Pattaya City News videotaped two guys being beaten with police permission, or the two guys did something so bad to merit a beating that, after the fact, the cops decided they deserved it. Hell: The license plate on the car is clearly visible on the link above; it's not like the police can't find these guys if they wanted to.

Perhaps the guys who were beaten told the officers to forget about it, but that is really beside the point: These cops were totally blown off while trying to stop a crime.

If I were one of the police officers who was videotaped in such an embarassing situation — no matter the circumstances — I'd take a really personal interest in hunting these guys down in this particular instance.

Daily Report: Happy New... Doh, What A Long Day

2007-12-31T23:59:00.000+07:00

I was up fairly early — at 10:00 — considering that I walked in the door from the airport at 3:00 a.m. Maid Go wasn't there to greet us last night: She was up in Bangkok with Riza visiting her ill sister. I uploaded the photos from the trip to my computer, and made phone calls to all of my friends.

Lunch at the Dao Café was great
as always. Best pizza too.

Epril and Franky peacing out.I tried to get some work done, but the New Year's holiday (along with Thanksgiving) marks the least amount of work that there is available during the year, and I simply had nothing to do. Therefore, I spent a little time blogging.

Franky came over at 1:00, back in town for a month. (Franky is president of the J.I.P. Fan Club (i.e. this blog's first regular reader, amongst others) for those of you who don't know, and is a really enjoyable fellow from Arizona.) We spent time looking at the 300 photos I took from my week in the Philippines.

After that, it was out with Epril and Franky to The Dao Café for pizza. I tried the Pizza Orientale (chicken, sausage, onion, peppers), which wasn't as good as other types, but still quite nice. After that, we went back into the bar area and had some beers, while Franky turned on the charm and in no time flat had garnered several marriage proposals from the local lasses assembled for his entertainment.

Franky with one of the
Dao Café cuties.

Patented Franky move: Give
the cute bartender the sad
puppy dog eye look from
behind the beer bottle.After a couple of beers, Franky went back to his apartment, while Epril and I went home and spent the afternoon enjoying some quiet time. Maid Go finally got back from Bangkok and got to work on the massive pile of dirty laundry that she found in the suitcases stacked outside her door, I read my book for a while, and put up another few days' worth of trip photos on the blog.

In the evening it was out with Epril to Bob's BBQ for dinner. Bob is pleased as punch at his new location, and told me that this December has been his best month ever since starting the restaurant four years ago. I'm really happy for him. Many of my friends saw their business efforts really start to pay off in 2007.

After Bob's, it was off to Rick's bar for the New Year's countdown. It was there that I found out two things: First and foremost was that one of my best friends, Willie, had flown in from Arizona on a surprise visit the day after I left for The Philippines. Unfortunately, last night at about the same time my plane was landing, Willie got in a bad motorcycle accident and got mangled pretty badly on his face, arm, and foot (as well as about a dozen other places, according to Rick, who spent the entire night and today at the hospital). No broken bones, but cuts that sounded truly gruesome. Willie was apparently home in bed unconscious on narcotics for New Year's Eve. So that stained the evening, knowing that Willie was here, and in such poor shape.

Da, Pui, Epril, Riza, Maid Go,
Baby Sara, and Rat.The second thing I found out shortly thereafter was that Rick has hired Pui (my ex-girlfriend) as the nighttime bartender for his bar. I'm not too happy about it, but it's something I can live with. Pui and Rick's wife, Da, are as close friends as I am with Rick, and it's no surprise and perfectly reasonable that they took her on. Pui had been working at the Buffalo Bar on Third Road, but she's found some new boyfriend whom I saw briefly (seems European, in his 60's or 70's) who is paying Pui a few extra thousand baht a month to work for Rick.

The fireworks this year
were nice, but only a
fraction as many on Soi
Rungland as in prior years.So Pui The Old and Epril The New were hanging out together with Riza, Da, Rat, and Maid Go for New Year's. (This is actually the second time Epril and Pui have met, the first being on Buddha's Birthday earlier this month, when Maid Go and Epril went to the beach, and Da and Pui showed up and joined them.)

Anyway, it was a low-tone countdown. The vikings from next door did barely anything for fireworks this year. (In 2005/6, we guessed it was 40,000 baht's worth of fireworks they set off; in 2006/7, probably around 10,000; this year was barely 4,000.)

Miss Ahm, Shooters manager Ray,
and Epril enjoying New Year's.

Walking Street was packed.After midnight, Epril and I went down to Walking Street to find Stan. I finally reached him on the phone, to find out that he was "pissed as a fart" (that's British lingo in case you didn't know), and was walking home. So, Epril and I stopped in at Shooters for a drink with Ray. Epril and I also chatted with Sam for a while as well. He's still putting out some great Mexican food there, if you are interested, and Shooters still does have the best beer selection in Pattaya, bar none. (Sam and Ray want me to let you all know to keep an eye out on the Pattaya Secrets board for upcoming meal specials... which I'm happy to do.)

So finally, after Shooters, it was a stroll back down Walking Street, trying to share space with all the drunk foreigners some of whom tended to saunter down the street like they were 3 feet wide, bumping into any and all in their way. So, seeing that the fun part of the party was already over, Epril and I got on the motorcycle and made our way home safely and slowly by the empty back roads.

Back From Vacation

2007-12-31T10:36:00.001+07:00

I arrived back from The Philippines at 3:00 a.m., and now I'm up and ready to start my (almost) new year. I've taken over 300 photos, and will try to get the best ones up over the next few days. My new year's resolution is to work harder at work, so that is my priority, but I'm equally anxious to get the photos up as well... so I won't forget you either.

Philippines Trip Day 10

2007-12-30T23:59:00.000+07:00

Epril with her parents at the airport in Cagayan.We had an uneventful trip home to Pattaya.

Filipinos are supposed to show return plane tickets when they leave the country, but I decided to try getting Epril out without one, and if the people at the airline counter asked, I would just tell them that our next stop after Thailand would be Laos, Cambodia, and Viet Nam, and that we didn't know exactly when we would be going back to The Philippines, or what city we would be flying from. However, the people at the airport in Manila didn't ask to see a return ticket once.

(I was later to learn that we were just lucky: A German fellow with his Filipina girlfriend, with whom we shared a taxi back to Pattaya, tried the same thing and wound up having to buy a ticket at the request of one lady at the counter... a ticket which was never asked for by a different person whom they saw at the same counter 30 minutes later.)

I have to remind myself that getting out of The Philippines costs over 3,000 pesos in taxes per couple: Epril had to pay a 1,620 peso tax to immigration for leaving her own country, and then each of us had to shell out a 750 peso airport tax. (I had forgotten how much all those taxes cost from last time, and only left myself about 2,000 pesos in cash at the end of the trip... and had to hit the ATM again before leaving.)

Philippines Trip Day 9

2007-12-29T23:59:00.000+07:00

We rode up into the mountains outside the village of Jassan today. About 30 minutes out, we got this view of Epril's village on the peninsula.The Philippines has great baked goods, as this bakery in the village of Jassan illustrates.
Threshing rice near Epril's family's house.
Village scene, kids playing.
Little boy outside house with coconut palm leaf roof.
Little girl walking with colorful chicken.
Old lady walking to the store.
Kids play while lady burns leaves she swept up.
Two little girls who were following me around.
Kids watching me through a fence.
Neice Doreen, father Eddie, Dimple makes a peace sign, Inday behind her father, pretty little Chupel, and her brother, C.J.
Tonight's movie was a little boring.

Philippines Trip Day 8

2007-12-28T23:59:00.000+07:00

Epril and I did some after-Christmas shopping in Cagayan De Oro before heading back to the village. We bought little sister Inday this cute outfit, and bought little sister Dimple a Barbie backpack for school.The stereo and television I bought on Christmas Eve were delivered yesterday.Neighbor girl mugs for the camera.Personal pizza for lunch. Toppings: Hot dogs, mushrooms, peppers, pineapple, raisins, a white Velveeta-style cheese, and a pink chili sauce. I have no idea why it tasted good, because it really shouldn't have... but there you are.Local neighborhood boys making noise: Hollow bamboo logs wrapped with rope for strength, and a small hole at one end. They spray window cleaner or some other flammable liquid inside, and then wave it around in the air to fully aerosolize the mixture, and then hold the end with the hole in it over a flame until it explodes. I was secretly hoping for a mishap, but none occurred.Inday holding baby Poknat.In the afternoon, it was off to Rock Spring Resort, the second of two swimming pool resorts, where we had a wonderful time splashing around. I taught the local kids how to play "Marco Polo".Local teenagers sitting on a rock at Rock Spring Resort.Empty rice paddy, with small house out in the jungle.Cousin-in-law Jean and cousin-in-law Ida holding baby A.J.In the evening, it was off to Epril's elementary school homecoming dance. This was her seventh anniversary of graduation, which you wouldn't is special, but in The Philippines at homecoming, each graduating class (called a "batch") for a certain span of years has to get up and do a dance. This year covered 1960 up to 2000... so it was Epril's class' first turn to dance. If not for the constant drizzle, mud, and standing around, I might have stayed longer.Epril's mother and father relaxing in front of the television.The local bug-eater, called a tuko, one of which inhabits the rafters of Epril's house. It is about 12 inches long, and everyone is scared of him. I played a great joke on Epril's family by claiming that I would catch him in a pot and set him free outside. I then went back in the kitchen by myself where nobody could see me and pretended to catch the creature in the pot and cover it, and then made a big show of struggling to hold the enraged lizard inside the pot while trying to take it past the family to the outdoors. Then right in the middle of the living room, amidst everyone, I pretended to trip and have the cover of the pot fall off, and gave out a big yell. Everyone ran for the exits before figuring out that I was playing a joke on them, and then we all laughed for about an hour.

Philippines Trip Day 7

2007-12-27T23:59:00.001+07:00

More home hunting today.

First house: 15,000 pesos (12,000 baht, $360) per month, furnished. Located in "Grand Europa" housing estate, which was supposed to be a high-end development. Heh. That pretty much means high-end prices, and not much more. Condition inside was about the same as what you see outside: Straight outta Compton. Also it was about 3 miles away from the front gate of the estate.Same development, 35,000 pesos (28,000 baht, $850), unfurnished. Tiny place with no yard at all. Yawn.
Off to Camilia Homes development, which was even more of a rundown ghetto of a place. This place was 10,000 pesos (8,000 baht, $240) unfurnished. Didn't bother to go inside... was afraid the roof might collapse on my head.Then, surprise: Same development, Camilia Homes, all the way down at the end, right at the very edge of the top of the Cagayan river valley, were 7 gorgeous little homes under construction, never occupied, with first and second-floor balconies overlooking the river several hundred feet below, renting for 20,000 pesos (16K/$480) to 35,000 pesos (28K/$850) per month. Epril and I have (hopefully) found our new home. The houses should be ready for occupancy in the next few months.Around the back side of the homes is a private walkway. "Front" porches are on the left, and on the right is a fence after which is a steep slope to the valley floor several hundred feet below.In the evening it was out to dinner at a restaurant slightly out of town called "Leo's". It was pretty good.

After that it was out to Spooks, Cagayan's popular gogo bar. Here are two of the girls who work there. If Spooks were in Pattaya, it would have a pretty good claim to being the bar with the prettiest girls, but there aren't that many girls in total... only about 15 or 20 that I could tell. Well, this isn't Angeles City, after all.

Philippines Trip Day 6

2007-12-26T23:59:00.000+07:00

Doreen after morning shower.Unlike Thailand, in The Philippines, gun ownership and being armed is legal. Hence, signs like this one below on the doors at banks. It is a bit weird to see guards with pistol grip shotguns at McDonald's though. Nonetheless: There is much less gun violence in The Philippines than there is in Thailand, where guns are 100% illegal.Today, we were back from the village to the city of Cagayan De Oro to go hunting for a house to rent. We saw this house below, 35,000 pisos (28,500 baht, $850) per month, furnished.We looked primarily in high end housing estates, which I found to be a bit of a let-down. The estates are so big (1000-plus houses) and lacking in any consistency of appearance in houses or construction that they don't seem like a development at all. In addition, the empty lots (of which there are many) are overgrown and nasty-looking, and while the houses... some of the houses... may be in good condition, the community as a whole feels neglected compared to what I'm used to seeing in Pattaya.

It was out to dinner at Countryside Steakhouse at the recommendation of my friend in C.D.O., Mike. I had spare ribs which were simply awful, but Epril had one of the best steaks she had ever had, and I can say that the calamari (below) were splendid. (Total price: 1,500 pesos (1200 baht, $36) including drinks.)I looked into the alcohol selection at liquor stores in Cagayan: Jack Daniels was cheaper than Thailand, but Johnnie Walker was more expensive. The beer selection was basically "any flavor of San Miguel you want", which is a bummer... although there is an ale called "Red Horse" which isn't too bad. Wines seemed to be moderately varied, but not more than 50 or 60 wineries. What seemed to be really lacking are cordials and mixers. No triple sec for margaritas was one that sticks in my memory. Looks like liquor runs to Manila will be in the cards if I want to live in Cagayan and have a properly-stocked bar.

Philippines Trip Day 5

2007-12-25T23:59:00.000+07:00

Neighbor Mary Chris, little sister Dimple, and niece Doreen enjoying Christmas morning with teddy bears.I invited a manicurist over to do all the girls' nails. The manicurist's daughter watched me through the wooden wall of the front porch.Epril and Doreen chat while Epril gets a pedicure.Doreen sits in the front door, watching television.House on the water, fishing boat in the background. At high tide, this house is surrounded by water.A roadside store dwarfed by trees.Doreen shows off her karate moves.Cousin Emma standing in the road.It seems that babies named Vincent are naturally adorable. (Love the earring dude.)

Philippines Trip Day 4

2007-12-24T23:59:00.000+07:00

A street scene from Epril's village.The Filipino version of a tuk-tuk.The famous Jeepney of The Philippines. (Bald tires are standard.)These are actually rather bland photos of Jeepneys. They can get much more vivid and colorful. Loud stereos and flashing lights on board mean that the tail lights and turn signals must be disconnected at all times in order to preserve battery power.Epril's niece, Doreen... my favorite kid, and cute as a button.I did my Christmas shopping today... I bought teddy bears, clothes, earrings, toys, a stereo, a television, and a washing machine.Doreen with a Filipino icon: Jollibee is the country's popular fast food restaurant, with the world's worst hamburgers.Tonight, the Basamanggas resort, where we are staying, was decked out for a Christmas Eve party. The window to our hotel room was right above the bandstand. Music finally stopped at 3:00 a.m. Went to Catholic Mass for Christmas eve as well... my first Catholic service ever actually. I was expecting Gregorian chants, and instead got guitars and tambourines. Inside were about 600 or 700 faithful, while about 2,000 more stood outside in a light rain.

Philippines Trip Day 3

2007-12-23T23:59:00.000+07:00

There are a lot of interesting things on the roads in The Philippines. I particularly like this stainless-steel jeep thingy.The rice has been harvested already, and the paddies are empty.Some of Epril's family: (Left to right), her cousin David, sister Ednil, sister Inday, sister Dimple, and her father, Eddie.Today, we rented a boat and went out to the beach. (Actually, the boat just cost us some beer and cigarettes to ride around in, as the captain was a friend of Epril's father.)A typical Filipino fishing trawler with many booms for nets. The catamaran style seems to be the most popular.Everyone enjoying the wind in their hair.A filipino fishing village on the beach, with dozens of people floating around in the water on innertubes.Epril wading ashore from the boat, anchored in waist-deep water.

Philippines Trip Day 2

2007-12-22T23:59:00.000+07:00

Today, I drove a rented motorcycle out to Epril's village. Epril and her sister, Ednil, rode in a taxi with all of our luggage.

Here is Epril with her sister, Inday.Nearby Epril's house, in the village of Jassan, is a newly-built resort, called "Bassamangas Resort". It's a nice enough place, with pretty swimming pools, but the prices of rooms are quite a bit high for what you get (1,500 pesos (1,200 baht, $36) for a standard room with air conditioning, but no hot water, and 3,300 pesos (2,600 baht, $80) for what I would call a "regular hotel room") and there is a karaoke machine out near the pool that is cranked up to 11 until well after my bedtime. It is the only hotel for a few miles in any direction.Here is Epril's house. It's small, but it's really cozy.A street in Epril's village. The jungle is so lush and green at this time of year, and everyone is amazingly friendly. Little crowds of kids follow me everywhere.In addition to the pool at the resort, up in the jungle hills there are two more places called "resorts", but they are just these wonderful places with fantastic swimming pools and bamboo cabanas for sitting around and drinking and eating all day for the lowest prices you could hope for. The photo below is of the Kahulugan Springs Resort, where we spent the day relaxing.I was a hit with the ladies.Epril with various members of her family.More family mugging for the camera.In the evening, we drove into the center of town and bought a big chicken dinner. The town is decorated nicely for Christmas. Below is a photo of city hall decorated with Christmas lights. Christmas in the Philippines is a noisy affair, with lots of firecrackers and... well... anything else that makes noise (including very loud stereos playing hip-hop music at all hours of the night) used to celebrate Christ's birth.The Catholic church in the center of the village of Jassan.

Philippines Trip Day 1

2007-12-21T23:59:00.000+07:00

If you are Christ born in Bethlehem, you get gold and frankencense for your birthday, If you are Christ born at the Manila airport, you get chicken and bananas.The airport "gate" at Cebu Pacific, the world's worst airline. Well... at least it is cheap.The "Presidential Suite" at the VIP Hotel in Cagayan De Oro. It was in really poor condition, but for $90 a night it wasn't bad... and compared to the $30 rooms, it was four times better at three times the price.Epril's sisters, Susan (l) and Ednil (r) stopped by, and we went out to dinner.For dinner, it was out to Spooks, Cagayan's only kano (that's the word for "farang", i.e. Westerner) GoGo bar. Early on Friday nights, they have a family-oriented all-you-can-eat buffet for 150 pesos (120 baht, $4) which isn't very good, but it is a nice chance to socialize with the local expatriate community. I met a nice fellow named Mickey there.

After that it was out to the Divisoria, which is the center plaza of town, which on Friday nights is open to foot traffic, and is jammed with thousands of people, and there is always a concert event going on sponsored by one of the local radio stations. This little group of kids dancing was a lot of fun to watch.After that, it was out to Pulse, one of the local night clubs, where there was a live band. Unfortunately, prices on vodka tonics had gone from 65 pesos (50 baht, $1.50) to 100 pesos (80 baht, $2.40) in the 2 months since I had been there.

How About That Nuclear Option Now?

2007-12-20T14:17:00.000+07:00

I love it when I'm right.

Two years ago, I talked about how Republicans would be stupid to use "the nuclear option" (i.e., their plan to do an end-run around the rules in Congress) to abolish filibusters, because one day they might be in the minority, and want to use the filibuster themselves.

(For those of you who don't remember, the Republicans were very, very upset that Democrats were using... no, actually just threatening to use... filibusters to stall judicial nominations and other legislation that they didn't like in Congress. You see, Republicans hated filibusters so much that they were just going to do away with them altogether.)

So who are the hypocrites now?

Oh... like you need to ask.

The Republican Senate minority today filibustered an omnibus budget bill, setting a modern-day record for blocking the most legislation during a congressional session. A new report released today by the Campaign for America's Future details the 62 times conservatives have used the filibuster to block legislation (or force modification of bills) in the first session of the 110th Congress. In just the first year of this two-year Congress, their use of the filibuster in the Senate topped the previous record, reached during the entire 107th Congress.

The hypocrisy meter will reach 100% when the Republicans start filibustering President Obama's judicial appointees.

You know: Now that I think about it, I'm almost bummed out that the Democrats never forced the Republicans to use "the nuclear option." The Democrats are such pussies that they need all the help they can get. If the Republicans had ended the filibuster back in 2005, then 62 pieces of Democratic legislation would have been passed this year that weren't.

I can't say whether or not that would actually have been a good thing, but it would be much more enjoyable to watch Republicans hoist on their own petard than just simply calling them hypocrites.

Well, maybe next year, the Democrats will put a "nuclear option" of their own on the table, and see what the Republicans have to say about that. Of course, such a move would require elephant-sized — not donkey sized — stones, so I'm not holding my breath.

Quotacious

2007-12-20T09:04:00.000+07:00

I empathize with you bro.

Yesterday I was standing in the check-out line at the supermarket, and between furtive glances at Soap Digest magazine (too embarrassed to buy, too intrigued to look away) I had an epiphany: I plum don't like fraternizing with lower- or middle-class people.

Obviously I'm somewhere between lower- and middle-class myself, on a good day. But other people of this sort really get on my nerves, whether they're huddling around one another for warmth in the freezer aisle or organizing a rodent hunt.

I'm not like that guy who wants to own a mansion and yacht and have powerful friends who do his bidding for him. More and more, I'm appalled that I don't already have such "luxuries," and I consider this to reflect poorly on my state and municipal governments for letting me fall to such a level of poverty/non-filthy-rich-ness.

Daily Report: Camera Woes

2007-12-20T07:38:00.000+07:00

Spent my morning in the usual fashion.

My Sony T70 camera broke again about a week ago. I took it back to the Sony repair center on Sukhimvit road so that they could effect the same repairs that they did a month ago. However, this time they claimed that the repairs that were done prior could not be repeated. (This leads me to think that they probably did something that they shouldn't have the first time around, making any future adjustments impossible.) They did, however, offer to "jury rig" the camera so that it would at least turn on when it was plugged into an AC adapter... but the battery would never work again.

When a Thai Sony technician offers to "jury rig" your electronic device so that it will "sort of work", then either one of you... or both of you... are retarded, depending on whether or not you allow that work to be done. So today I went back and picked up my camera before the Sony people could "break it with my permission".

So now I'm going to find one of my friends heading back to a place where people who aren't Thai can look at my camera to see what the problem is and whether or not they can fix whatever the Thai technicians did to it. There is nothing wrong with the camera... just in getting power from the battery to the camera.

In the evening, it was over for drinks at Stan's, and then home by 11:00.

Okay For Tourism, Not So Sure For Visa Runners

2007-12-19T08:52:00.000+07:00

From the Travel Blackboard:

In a bid to streamline tourism to the region, Cambodia and Thailand have signed a deal that will allow tourists to visit both countries with a single Visa.

Once implemented, visitors will be able to apply at both Cambodian and Thai embassies for the new Visa.

"Tourists just apply for a single visa at one place, and they can travel to both Cambodia and Thailand," said Cambodia’s foreign minister Hor Namhong for The Economic Times. According to Namhong, Myanmar, Laos and Vietnam could also eventually sign up to the deal.

The Visa was developed through the Ayeyawady-Chao Phya-Mekong Economic Cooperation Strategy (ACMECS), a joint development scheme that includes the five nations.

Now, it is a little difficult to figure out effect this will have on people who do visa runs to Cambodia.

You don't need a "visa" to get into Thailand (you can just get a stamp in your passport), but you need one to get into Cambodia. Do you get... do you have to buy... one of these Thai-Cambodia visas now to get into Thailand? Or just if you plan on going to Cambodia?

As best I can figure, you arrive at the airport in Thailand and get your 30-day visa same as before. You then go to Cambodia and get one of these "new visas", same as before... but instead of a Cambodia visa, it is now a Thai-Cambodia visa. (How many days they are good for is currently not known. We'll say 30 days.) You then come back to Thailand and when you cross the border you probably just get a 30-day stamp, same as before. (In that scenario, nothing has changed.)

I can't see anything else changing, but the devil is obviously in the details.

What happens when the visa expires while you are in Thailand? Can you just go back to the border and renew it? Can you only extend it? What if the visa is issued in Thailand instead of Cambodia? Can you get one of these visas in Thailand, cross over to Cambodia, and then back into Thailand, and still have the visa be valid? Can you repeat this process over and over again like you can currently with Cambodian visas or is the Thai government going to dictate the rules?

Oh hell: I can sit here and ponder this one all day until my head hurts. What it certainly means is that Thailand and Cambodia (and potentially Laos and Viet Nam) are going to agree to have the exact same rules regarding visa runners... and that could either be a good thing or it could mean the complete end of visa runs altogether.

As for what it means to tourists, currently: I suppose that they will only have to pay the $25 visa fee once, instead of possibly (but rarely) two or more times, while traveling between Thailand and Cambodia.

Until the third and fourth countries join the list though, it's not really too helpful, unless you go from Thailand to Cambodia, then back to Thailand, and then back to Cambodia again... before the visa expires.

Predictions About The Upcoming Elections

2007-12-19T08:44:00.000+07:00

This all seems reasonable to me:

"The only real issue at the election will be whether or not to support ex-Prime Minister Thaksin," pro-democracy activist Giles Ji Ungpakorn, an associate professor at Bangkok's Chulalongkorn University, wrote in an analysis circulated by e-mail.

Judging by opinion polls, the answer is many Thais will back the People's Power Party, where Thaksin loyalists have regrouped with his endorsement. The surveys project the party will win the most seats, though fall short of the majority that Thaksin's Thai Rak Thai Party held before the coup.

If no party wins a majority, the Thaksin grouping will vie with the Democrat Party, expected to finish second, to line up enough support from smaller parties to form a majority and name the next prime minister.

Quotacious

2007-12-19T08:11:00.000+07:00

"The civil libertarians among us would rather defend the constitution than protect our nation’s security."

— Senator Jeff Sessions, Republican of Louisiana.

In case you are wondering, he said that with contempt... as in "can you believe those civil libertarians actually defend the constitution?" This is the mindset of the modern Republican party... the "patriotic" party, they call themselves. Ha.

Daily Report: Getting Ready For Vacation

2007-12-18T22:08:00.000+07:00

I slept in about for about half an hour before Epril woke me up and then we played a game of "Smile if you want to be tickled." (Attention-seeking Poopy cat sulked around the periphery, whining, "Look, I'm smiling too!")

Work in the morning was fine. Then it was out to lunch with Stan and Lee at Valentino's (gnocchi again), and then over to Foodland, where Epril and I bought 1000-baht worth of chocolate bars to take back to The Philippines for Christmas.

Then it was back home for afternoon work, leftovers for dinner, and "The Chronicles Of Narnia" as the evening's movie.

We're leaving for The Philippines, Cagayan De Oro (PI/CDO) on Thrusday night, December 20th, and will be back on Monday morning, December 31st. Hopefully I will be blogging while I'm gone, and putting up photos. We'll see.

Just A Little Useless Information To Amuse You

2007-12-18T15:15:00.000+07:00

Thirty years ago, in 1976, a record producer named Frank Farian created a band called "Boney M." The band was actually one of the most popular acts of the 1970s, especially in Africa, the Middle East, India and even communist Russia... all places where they were second in album sales only to Abba.

The interesting fact about Boney M. was that the people on the album covers were not the people who actually performed the music. They were just models who Frank Farian paid to lip synch to the songs at concerts, promote the music, and generally put forth a sexy image. Everybody knew this fact, and nobody was particularly bothered by it.

The "group" finally disbanded in 1986.

Twenty years ago, in 1988, two years after Boney M was finished, that same record producer named Frank Farian created another band, "Milli Vanilli"... and everybody was shocked to learn that the guys on the album cover weren't actually singing the music. You think people would have figured that one out a little sooner.

Quotacious

2007-12-18T08:58:00.000+07:00

"Let's be clear: we have lost this war. We have lost because the initial, central goals of the invasion have all failed: we have not secured WMDS from terrorists because those WMDs did not exist. We have not stymied Islamist terror — at best we have finally stymied some of the terror we helped create. We have not constructed a democratic model for the Middle East — we have instead destroyed a totalitarian government and a phony country, only to create a permanently unstable, fractious, chaotic failed state, where the mere avoidance of genocide is a cause for celebration. We have, moreover, helped solder a new truth in the Arab mind: that democracy means chaos, anarchy, mass-murder, national disintegration and sectarian warfare. And we have also empowered the Iranian regime and made a wider Sunni-Shiite regional war more likely than it was in 2003. Apart from that, Mr Bush, how did you enjoy your presidency?"

— Andrew Sullivan.

Pattaya News Roundup

2007-12-18T06:53:00.000+07:00

In a story that seems to sum up Pattaya perfectly, the son of one of the world's richest men had fallen in love with a kathoey (ladyboy) and was going to leave his wife. He then forged divorce documents so that he could take half of the $4 million property in the divorce which he had put totally in his wife's name. Rich people don't go to jail in Thailand over stuff like this, but that makes it no less amusing.

About 80,000 (very sober) Thai people turned up to vote at the Chonburi police headquarters last weekend to vote in absentee balloting. Next weekend, it's the same thing all over again. Pattaya has a 60-day high season, and it has to be closed for 10 of those days. With profits already down because of low numbers of people traveling, this is going to be a particularly grim year for Pattaya businesses.

Now we have a story of "My dad can beat up your dad", as two kids got in a fight, and then their fathers, who are cousins, got in a fight over the kids fighting. The unlucky fellow in the fight wound up in the hospital with a slashed neck.

Daily Report: Moving Day

2007-12-17T21:39:00.000+07:00

I woke Epril up with our usual game of "smile if you want to be tickled". Epril just hears the word "tickle" and she starts giggling uncontrollably. She squeals and laughs loud enough to wake the neighbors when I get her pinned down and go to work on her tummy.

It was one of those Mondays where there was no work left over after the weekend to do, so I spent the morning blogging, and then climbed back into bed until mid-afternoon.

After that, I moved my office downstairs next to Epril's workstation so that we could spend our days together. (A change in venue after 18 months working in the same place isn't a bad idea either.) I then did about 1 hour of work before running into those godawful Texas accounts that I hate so much.

After that, being Monday, it was Doctor Who. Very cool as always.

Monday Vinnie Blogging

2007-12-17T16:21:00.000+07:00

My father became an honorary Jew when he got did some graduate work at Hofstra University on Long Island. (The college is where all the balebetishen yidden study, if you get my drift.) Looks like he's got his grandson, Vinnie lined up to follow in his footsteps.

Daily Report: Holiday Cheer, Cigarettes and Beer

2007-12-16T23:26:00.000+07:00

I got some work done in the morning, and then had some lunch with Epril (leftover Indian food from lunch yesterday... Thanks Stan!) before taking a 1-hour nap.

After that, it was out with Geoff and Honey Mae to Mini Siam. From there, we went to the beach... my favorite stretch of beach. Unfortunately it really sucked: All the beach chairs were full with tourists. (And, if you're going to go to a beach full of tourists, the least that you could get out of the deal is get some sizzlin' hot Russian babes in bikinis to ogle, but that would be asking far too much of the beach today, filled with people who made me look trim and svelte.) On top of that, the beach vendors were all out of steamed crab... except for one guy who had two left, which I bought only to discover that they were probably not safe to eat... they tasted "off". Then the ice cream guy came buy and ripped us off. (Honey Mae and Epril had already tucked into their selections before we found out the price... which everyone has to agree is the biggest mistake you can make in Thailand.) So: Overall it was a crap day at the beach.

Next, it was back home for a quick break. Then it was out to Big C where I got my hair braided and Epril bought Christmas cards. We had gotten Christmas cards this year from Geoff and Honey Mae (Thanks!) and American Jeff (sorry I forgot to say "Thanks!" at lunch yesterday... Thanks!) and Epril decided that we needed to do Christmas Cards too.

At 6:00, it was dinner at Bob's BBQ. (The 179-baht rib special is one of the best meal deals in town.) Bob traded in his I-Phone for a Nokia N95 after just a week or so. (Bob's hobby is mobile phones.)

After Bob's, it was off to Shooters to visit with Ray, but he wasn't in to work yet. So, we went over to TQ2, and hung around with the regular gang and dropped of Christmas cards.

Alf enjoys his 10,000 baht cigarette,
while Stan is sad at having missed an
opportunity to donate to the orphans.
(Thank you Alf for risking your health
in order to help the neediest people.
Good job!)Alf and Stan had quit smoking on the anniversary of Steve's death, and had agreed that whomever re-started smoking first would pay 10,000 baht to The Mercy Center orphanage as a donation. Well, I'm proud to say that Alf, after just 44 hours, managed to make Stan look like quite the child-hating curmudgeon by volunteering to take up smoking again in the interest of helping out children, leaving Stan bitter at having lost this charitable opportunity. (Thanks Alf!)

After TQ2, it was back to visit with Ray, whose 50th birthday was today, and have a couple of drinks. (Happy Birthday, Ray!) I like Shooters, because they have the largest beer selection in Pattaya... including Beer Lao Dark, which is impossible to find regularly. After a couple of drinks with birthday boy, I went home with Epril and straight to bed.

A Visit To Mini Siam Park

2007-12-16T22:45:00.000+07:00

Today it was off to one of Pattaya's most well-known tourist traps, Mini Siam... A large park filled with about 100 miniature recreations of world-famous places, and places from Thailand that are not so famous but might be worth knowing about.

Mini Siam has a collection of
miniature replicas of places from
around the world and around Thailand.For those of you who have never been to Pattaya, and have thus never driven by the monstrous Mini Siam sign on road into town, it is located on the East side of Sukhumvit Road, about 1 kilometer north of Pattaya North Road, across the way from Bangkok Pattaya Hospital.

Epril In Paris.Entry fee is 100 baht for brown-skinned people, 150 baht for white-skinned people who can produce a valid work permit, and 250 baht for white-skinned people who are just visiting. (Nice try on the "we're not discriminating too much" pricing structure... but it is still a 'fail'.)

This is my third visit to Mini Siam, and I can manage to enjoy the place for about 10 minutes. That is because the front half of the park where you start your tour is called "Mini Europe", and there are quite nicely-done miniatures of some of Europe's most famous buildings. Honey Mae and Epril got a very nice introduction to a lot of places that they never knew about, but should have. The workmanship here is quite excellent.

Now: If admission price was just 50 baht for Thais and foreigners, and all there was to see was "Mini Europe", this place would get high marks. Unfortunately, it keeps going.

(I have to apologize: My camera's batteries died at this point.)

The back half of the park is dedicated to miniatures of places in Thailand. It starts off sort of good (though hardly as good as out front) with some temple ruins in Buriram province, a miniature of the Temple of the Emerald Buddha, The Golden Mount, the King's Palace, and a very interesting recreation of the destroyed old capital city of Ayudhya.

However, the folks who created Mini Siam still had another 2 or 3 acres to fill in, and soon you are walking past "The Women's Liberation Monument, Erected in 1984 in Pratchanburi Province", or "Channel 3 News Headquarters", or a not-even-close reproduction of Don Muang Airport (built to entertain the kids with its model 747 creaking around a chain-loop track), or a god-knows-why replica of a container port.

What is personally annoying to me is that these are the same old chipped and faded replicas, with the same old worn and scattered plastic toy blue Lambhorginis and grey Porsches sitting in the parking lots, and the same old illegible sun-bleached signs. Other than cutting the grass and trimming the hedges, not one scrap of maintenance or upkeep has been done on this place in the 5 year span between my first and this most recent visit.

I personally find it a little offensive that the owners of this place earn busloads of money from busloads of tourists every day of the year, and yet have not put a single baht back into the place to improve it or make it better. If I'm paying to see the Mona Lisa, that's a good thing. If I'm paying to walk by the tracks of a broken model railroad that hasn't seen a train in half a decade, that's not a good thing. (Heck: They are so cheap, they didn't even pay to keep their website up.)

Granted, for all the people who have never been to Mini Siam before, complaining that the place is always in the same (tired) condition each visit doesn't matter a lick. I suppose 30 years from now — barring the scourges of time and weather — Chinese tourists will still be enjoying their first visit, eagerly striking an arm-raised pose while standing next to the Statue of Liberty, and staring puzzled at the miniature gas station next to the Phra Kin Klao Bridge and wondering why something like that is so important as to merit a miniature replica of itself here in Mini Siam.

I'll still think it's rubbish... but then again I'll be thrilled that my kids or grandkids will get to see the Acropolis and the Arc de Triomphe. And as much as I bitch about it here, they'll probably go nuts at that same China Airways flight, still crawling slowly around the same tired rusty course outside of the same old airport. So yes, I'm sorry to say that I'll probably be back eventually.

Daily Report: Lunch and Laughs

2007-12-15T23:06:00.000+07:00

Stan's model railroad is coming
along nicely.

Russ and Stan.It was off to Stan's house for a lunch of Indian food today. Along with Stan and Maid Lee, myself and Epril, there was American Jeff, Russ and his son Lance, Jew of Champion and his girlfriend, and Eric from Pittsburgh. I had a fantastic time sitting around with my friends and chatting.

Jeff had some fun at our expense by managing to convince us that Colonel Sanders (the symbol of KFC... and a very popular figure here in Thailand) never existed, and was only an actor created as a marketing ploy by Dave Thomas — who later went on to found the fast-food chain, "Wendys". Armed with a full list of made-up "facts" (along with the genetically-modified-chicken-induced name change to KFC urban legend), mixed in with a bit of truth, of course, he had us all going there. Nothing like a good tall tale to make for an entertaining afternoon.

Eric, on the other hand, another bullshitter, took a different approach to fooling us, and would just interject made-up facts (usually very off-colored) into a conversation at random intervals:

In the middle of a conversation about the band, Eric chimes in, "Did you know that 'Deep Purple' is a code word for anal sex?"

(We all stop talking and look at Eric, sitting at the end of the table.)

After a few seconds, Eric grins sheepishly and says, "Nah... I just made that up."

Anyway, we sat around talking and drinking and laughing hysterically all afternoon and into the early evening. It was really a fantastic time.

After that, Epril and I went over to Rick's bar for a little while and I sat around chatting with Rick. We decided that the rule for closing bars in Thailand during elections (like they have done this weekend) is particularly and especially dumb for one plain fact: About 95% of alcohol consumption in Thailand is done by Thai people sitting around a fire; sitting at a kitchen table or sala; or hanging out in back of, or in front of a shop house... and not in bars. The other 5% of alcohol consumption in Thailand is by tourists... in bars.

That reminds me... most bars are going to be opening up and serving on Sunday evening, 4 or 5 hours before the midnight ending of the alcohol ban. So boozing it up Pattaya-style will be back a little earlier than you probably thought.

Anyway, it was finally home at just after 10:00, and asleep shortly thereafter.

A Visit To The Mercy Center Orphanage

2007-12-14T23:00:00.000+07:00

The entrance to The Mercy Center.
Get directions here, or visit
their website here.

The front yard has been converted
to a beautiful playground.

Pattaya TV was there, intervieing
Steve's friends.

The large and well-stocked class
room and play room.

Fred Doell, director of The Mercy
Center, shows off the fellowship
hall.This afternoon, I gathered together with all of Steve Blumenthal's friends on the anniversary of his death at The Mercy Center orphanage... Steve's favorite charity. The truth is that I had never been to an orphanage before, and I wasn't sure what the place would be like, and I obviously can't say based on having seen The Mercy Center how it may compare to any other orphanage; however, I can say that I found the place to be pretty, friendly, well-stocked, well-staffed, and well-managed.

The Mercy Center consists of a large main house with a lovely grass-covered playground in the front yard. In front of that is a large parking lot separated from the playground by a fence, and off to the side is a monstrous, low, one-story building that used to be a diamond-cutting factory, but has been converted by the founder and director, Fred Doell, and his wife Dianne (two Canadians... Calgary) into play rooms, a fellowship hall, a library, offices, and storage (with plenty of room left over to grow). The Mercy Center currently houses 20 children, all under the age of 10, who are supervised by four farang adult employees living full-time on the premises, at least as many Thai employees, and at least as many other daily farang and Thai volunteers. The ratio of adults to children here is very high.

The children are raised by the Doell's as Christian, who figure that the kids get more than enough Buddhist teachings from their Thai caretakers, the Thai public school they attend, as well as just being in Thailand.

I arrived at the orphanage to a rather odd sight: All of Steve's friends were chatting in the parking lot, while all the kids they were ostensibly there to visit were on the playground playing. I immediately headed for the playground and started entertaining the kids with plane rides, tickling, ball tossing, and generally acting like a big goof. (I had to accept the fact that some of these kids have had a rough time of life, and their first instinct when confronted by a new adult was to punch or kick or throw a rock... but they were 5 or 6 years old, and weren't dangerous.) Epril and Maid Lee and TQ2 manager Wood's girlfriend Poo, being girls, immediately joined me on the playground and started having fun. (The newborn infant was a major attraction, of course.) The guys still stood around outside though.

Eventually, I went out and reminded a few of the guys that (a) we were here because of Steve, and (b) we should try and do what Steve would do if he were here. Of course, with Steve having been the ultimate big kid, for whom nothing was more important than a child's happiness, the guys knew immediately what they needed to do, and one by one, all the old (or only moderately-old) farangs came in and sat down with the kids, and had some fun playing around. It was really nice to see. We could be certain that Steve was smiling down on this moment.

You know: Any time you would like, you yourself can stop by The Mercy Center and visit with Fred and Diane and the kids. Just showing up and saying hello, believe it or not, is immensely helpful: Once you've seen the place, met Fred and Diane, hugged a kid... then the rest is easy. You can help out if you want, check whether they need anything (they always do), or just see what the place is all about. A donation of your time is more than acceptable, as any charity will tell you, but whatever you can afford to dig out of your wallet is especially welcome.

The lease on The Mercy Center is going to be up in a while, and this wonderful place may go away soon. Fred and Diane are currently trying to raise the funds to purchase the property so that The Mercy Center can stay and care for Thailand's orphans at this pretty place for the rest of their days, and beyond. The Mercy Center, I'm told, needs 12 million baht to do this, and so far has saved up 2 million. If there are any benefactors out there who can help The Mercy Center achieve this goal, now would be a good time to step forward.

Anyway, at the end of this day, 20 little Thai kids had been fed, taught, and loved, and had their unfortunate lives vastly improved by the folks at The Mercy Center. It really did my heart some good to be able to stop by and be a part of that today.

By the way... I'm putting this blog entry down as "tourist stuff", mostly so that The Mercy Center will henceforth have it's own full-time place on my main page, but also because this is a place that people might want to consider visiting during a visit to Pattaya.

Daily Report: Kids and Carols

2007-12-14T22:41:00.000+07:00

Had a fair day of work... but spent a lot of time blogging. The more readers my blog gets, the more time I spend on it. So, please everyone: Stop reading!

Anyway, in the afternoon it was off to The Mercy Center orphanage to honor Steve Blumenthal, who died a year ago today at the age of 41 from a massive and sudden heart attack.

Mike and Riza invited a Filipino caroling group over to their house tonight, and they serenaded the neighborhood with some folksy Christmas carols. They really sang quite well, and were a lot of fun and light-hearted.

After they finished on our street, Riza and Epril went with them to go caroling, first at Beth and Richard's house, and then at Geoff and Honey Mae's house. As always, Epril was thrilled to meet some other Filipino people.

I watched a really interesting documentary tonight on — of all things — the history of dyes. Yes strange. However, I was enthralled. First, it was cool to find out that 150 years ago, chemists went on to great riches simply by discovering how to make a certain color... and then selling it to clothiers. Purple was the color of royalty, because the only way to make purple dye was from the purpura shell, and it took almost 3 million such shells to dye one garment purple. The most interesting part, however, was learning that dye making was the forerunner of the pharmaceutical industry. You see, scientists used (still use) dyes to stain cells to be able to see them better. Scientists discovered that certain dyes will stain bacteria but not human cells, and using the knowledge that these compounds could effect bacteria and not people, the first pharmaceuticals and chemotherapies were created. Neat, eh?

How Long Can This Guy Last?

2007-12-14T13:11:00.000+07:00

First, let's acknowledge the fact that Rudy Giuliani is a pro-gay, pro-immigrant, pro-choice, pro-gun-control, cross-dressing Catholic Republican with a vicious authoritarian streak. I mean, the guy is a mix between Caligula and Khomeini.

Right wingers shouldn't vote for him because of his liberal beliefs, and liberals shouldn't vote for him because of his right-wing behaviors. That in itself should have been enough to have deep-six'ed his candidacy, but it hasn't.

Then come the scandals:

First, Rudy Giuliani recommended a guy he knew was a soon-to-be-convicted criminal, Bernard Kerik, to President Bush as a nominee for the head of the Department of Homeland Security.

Then, Rudy Giuliani hired a Catholic priest to work for his consulting firm months after the priest was accused of sexual molestation. (The priest still works for him as well.)

Then, it was discovered that Rudy Giuliani was using New-York-City-tax-paid motorcades (i.e. police and vehicles) to chauffeur his mistress around the Tri-State area, and the costs of those trips were mixed in with other city government expenses to hide them.

Then, he tried to claim that he had spent as much... if not more... time at Ground Zero in Manhattan than most of the workers recovering bodies there, and that he was "exposed to the exact same things they were exposed to." (It was actually 29 hours lifetime total.)

On top of all of this... now we discover that his consulting firm, Giuliani Partners, worked with a company which mines personal data on Americans, and received a commission for winning them a government contract, and receiving such a commission is eeee-legal in America.

And yet he is still hanging in there.

However.... we can all agree on three things:

First: Nobody gets caught at everything.
Second: The worse the thing you did, the better you hide it.
Third, as corollary to first and second: The shit tends to hit the fan bigger and harder and smellier as time goes on (and it is usually safe to assume that the biggest and last turd is so bad, and so well-hidden that you never get to find out about it).

Therefore, the one thing that is likely is, people aren't going to have to make the hard decision of whether to vote for a Republican Robespierre-in-drag or a Democrat this year, because this guy is going to... has to... crater long before he wins the nomination.

(I'm just sorry that your other Republican choices... save one... barely qualify as an improvement.)

But seriously: I nominate Rudy Giuliani as the Worst Republican Presidential Candidate. Yes... even worse than Alan Keyes. Hell: You can even vote for Tom Tancredo before you vote for the Manhattan Mussolini for all I care.

UPDATE:

I guess we now have our answer as to "how long can this guy last?": Giuliani has dropped dramatically to...

third in Iowa polls, 30 points behind the leader,
third in New Hampshire polls,
fourth in South Carolina polls,
third in Florida, and
third in Michigan.

The lesson: People... even Republican primary voters... figure stuff out eventually. Giuliani is toast... thankfully.

Friday Cat Blogging

2007-12-14T08:17:00.000+07:00

Poopy Cat is always complaining about having a stiff neck. Sleeping like this, it isn't hard to figure out why.

Pattaya News Roundup

2007-12-14T07:51:00.000+07:00

Pattaya is hosting the Southeast Asian Games this year, and the sailing competition is being held in the waters close to the Ocean Marina Yacht Club in Jomtien. I'm not much of a fan: Sailing is to racing what speed-walking is to running. But if it is your thing, stop by. Competition ends on Friday.

With high season in full swing here in Pattaya, the thieves are out in force. They seem particularly desperate this year, snatching tiny little necklaces and impossible-to-fence watches like the one in this picture. This probably has a lot to do with tourists learning to leave their valuables at home when going out for the night in Pattaya.

Pattaya City government has finally decided to start planning for this year's New Year party... 2 weeks beforehand. Better late than never. Pattaya's other fun spot, Bali Hai pier, will be the place for everyone who enjoys officially-sanctioned New Year's merriment; anywhere else for the rest of us.

Quotacious

2007-12-14T07:30:00.000+07:00

"Once you start subjecting religious doctrines to secular, empirical standards, not many would survive. But, as long as we have a secular politics, this doesn't and shouldn't matter in a presidential election. For me, it doesn't. But here's the point: for those who believe no politics is meaningful without religion dictating its meaning and direction, i.e. today's Republican leadership, it's a legitimate question.

So quit the whining, Mr Romney, and enjoy the bed you've made for yourself."

— Andrew Sullivan.

Daily Report: Fun Money

2007-12-13T23:24:00.000+07:00

Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.

I've discovered that I'm living with a shoe lover. Whenever I give Epril a few hundred baht, and tell her to go out with her friends and buy something for herself, she invariably comes home with a pair of shoes. In just 2½ months, she's racked up 10 pair.

I told Epril that she probably didn't really need any more shoes for a while, and that she should perhaps think about doing something different with her money. Therefore, today she came home with little rainbow-reflective long strands of tinsel glued into her hair. (It's a new fad among Thai girls... although quite My-Little-Pony-ish if you ask me. Next thing will be a pink glitter-covered fairy princess magic wand to wave around or something.) Oh well... it's rather subtle, and is sort of eye-catching in a way.

For lunch, it was back over to my friend Jerry's restaurant by the pool (read here) for lunch. I had chicken cordon bleu smothered in a fantastic mushroom sauce for 160 baht. Hell: By weight, it was 50% loaf of ham, cheese, and chicken; and 50% mushrooms. Fantastic.

In the evening, Epril and I watched "Three Kings" on video, and then another episode of "24".

Oh: I'm going to take a pass on putting Google Ads on my website. I talked with the owner of one of the blogs which I've linked to on this website, whose readership size is about the same as my own, and he is earning about $25 per month while having his site heavily peppered with Google advertising. Doesn't sound like a worthwhile usage of my screen real estate, and I think my blogger friend agrees.

Nonetheless, if you do click on a link from my blog and happen upon a blog with Google ads on it (or anywhere else on the internet that you might see them), clicking on Google Ads is the same as leaving a tip for the blogger whom you have just read. It is worth cash to them, and requires very little effort on your part. So be friendly when you can: Click Google Ads.

Religion + Greed + Ignorance = Africa

2007-12-13T16:33:00.000+07:00

Link Twin boys Itohowo and Kufre stand surrounded by angry villagers who believe they are bringing evil to their lives. Photograph: Robin Hammond/The Observer

Sam Ikpe-Itauma is one of the few people in this area who does not believe what the evangelical 'prophets' are preaching. He opened his house to a few homeless waifs he came across, and now he tries his best to look after 131.

Nwaeka is about 16. She sits by herself in the mud, her eyes rolling, scratching at her stick-thin arms. The other children are surprisingly patient with her. The wound on her head where a nail was driven in looks to be healing well. Nine-year-old Etido had nails, too, five of them across the crown of his downy head. Its hard to tell what damage has been done. Udo, now 12, was beaten and abandoned by his mother. He nearly lost his arm after villagers, finding him foraging for food by the roadside, saw him as a witch and hacked at him with machetes.

Magrose is seven. Her mother dug a pit in the wood and tried to bury her alive. Michael was found by a farmer clearing a ditch, starving and unable to stand on legs that had been flogged raw.

The youngest here is a baby. The older girls take it in turn to sling her on their skinny hips and Ikpe-Itauma has named her Amelia, after his grandmother. He estimates around 5,000 children have been abandoned in this area since 1998 and says many bodies have turned up in the rivers or in the forest. Many more are never found. "The more children the pastor declares witches, the more famous he gets and the more money he can make," he says. "The parents are asked for so much money that they will pay in instalments or perhaps sell their property. This is not what churches should be doing."

Although old tribal beliefs in witch doctors are not so deeply buried in people's memories, and although there had been indigenous Christians in Nigeria since the 19th century, it is American and Scottish Pentecostal and evangelical missionaries of the past 50 years who have shaped these fanatical beliefs. Evil spirits, satanic possessions and miracles can be found aplenty in the Bible, references to killing witches turn up in Exodus, Deuteronomy and Galatians, and literal interpretation of scriptures is a popular crowd-pleaser.

Pastor Joe Ita is the preacher at Liberty Gospel Church in nearby Eket. "We base our faith on the Bible, we are led by the holy spirit and we have a programme of exposing false religion and sorcery." Soft of voice and in his smart suit and tie, his church is being painted and he apologises for having to sit outside near his shiny new Audi to talk. There are nearly 60 branches of Liberty Gospel across the Niger Delta. It was started by a local woman, mother-of-two Helen Ukpabio, whose luxurious house and expensive white Humvee are much admired in the city of Calabar where she now lives. Many people in this area credit the popular evangelical DVDs she produces and stars in with helping to spread the child witch belief.

Thursday Babe Blogging

2007-12-13T08:35:00.000+07:00

This weeks J.I.P. Babe is Ms. Took... I'm just tit jai about her. (That means "stuck heart", as in "crazy" or "enamored"... but I really just needed an excuse to write the word "tit".)

Stupid Tourist Contest, New Entry

2007-12-13T07:32:00.000+07:00

In order to qualify for the Stupid Tourist category, a person has to be the victim of their own stupidity... usually by getting robbed. Most applicants are Middle-Easterners who bring street-walking prostitutes back to their hotel room, without having the hotel's front desk take the girl's or guy's ID card.

Today, we have two Frenchmen who really have done a good job at opening up a whole new approach to Stupid Tourism... a new debacle of dumbness... a new process of pinheadedness. It's really the setup that makes it a classic:

(1) Put 4,000 Euros ($5,000, 150,000 baht) in your pockets.
(2) Go out with your buddy looking for fun.
(3) Find 2 ladyboys who suit your fancy.
(4) Follow the 2 strangers to some dark room in a bad neighborhood.
(5) Act really surprised when 2 guys with guns burst in and rob you.
(6) Run and find the nearest police and become...

Stupid Tourists #28 and #29, robbed, and filmed

Daily Report: Get On Your Bikes And Ride!

2007-12-12T21:48:00.000+07:00

Morning blogging and working, afternoon fixing the blog and working.

I'm thinking about putting up Google Ads on my blog next year to get a little cash for my efforts... considering that I'm putting in 3 or 4 hours a day on this blog, more or less. Hope y'all don't mind a little commercial effort.

Epril, after a day of the wobblies, has gotten the hang of cycling, and is now pedaling herself around the neighborhood. She even went out and bought some chicken for dinner. I'll have her up to 800 cc in no time, I'm sure.

Tonight, Epril and I watched "Dodgeball". As I surmised, lots of nut shots (especially with wrenches) kept Epril laughing.

Oh: Everyone in Thailand will be drinking their beer out of coffee mugs this weekend — from Friday 6:00 p.m. to Sunday midnight — because of the upcoming election. Not sure whether Pattaya is exempt or not... but don't be surprised if it isn't.

Blug Opdate

2007-12-12T16:57:00.000+07:00

I've changed some things around on the blog... hope you don't mind. Some things are gone, other things are added.

I've taken away: The satellite map, the clock, the weather forecast, the currency exhcnage ticker, and the popup-preview gizmo. They caused about 90% of the blog loading time, but were items that were generally not used or necessary. If you miss them, let me know... but I don't think anybody really desparately needs the stuff.

I've added: A complete running list of restaurants I've reviewed and tourist attractions I've visited over on the right side column. (Scroll around a little bit to see them perhaps.) This will be updated every week as I add new entries.

I've adjusted: The number of posts on the main page. It's gone from 50 posts to 8 days worth of posts. I had a lot of posts on the main page before because it gave me more google search hits, which improves readership. Now that I have the readers I wanted, I'm focusing (once again) on improving loading time.

Oh, as always, messing around with the coding always means that something that I haven't noticed is probably busted. If you see something on this blog failing to function properly (besides me, that is), please note it in the comments section.

Jacobsson Karl Edvard Has Died

2007-12-12T10:03:00.000+07:00

It would probably be safe to assume that 99% of people, including myself, have... had... no idea who this guy is... was. For most people who wouldn't know otherwise, he's just a guy who got old and died after a slip and fall in the bathroom.

But this was a guy who at 77 years of age was a go-kart racing champion, a part-time fitness instrutor, and was enjoying the fun and sun here in Pattaya. Who cares that he died? He lived: That's what matters. He really lived.

And that ends the lesson. Congratulations to you, Mr. Jacobsson Karl Edvard, on having had one hell of a good life. Sorry it had to end when you were still young.

America Just Doesn't Get It

2007-12-12T09:07:00.000+07:00

Veni, Vidi, Cruciati... or Crucio Ergo Sum.

Weclome to the Roman Empire, V2.0. The people have spoken. Gather them for the games. Loose the lions and hear the masses cheer as their simple minds are filled with simple pleasures so that worries of the world outside the seven hills fade from memory.

Let their shallow morals be buttressed by the common belief in their own righteousness and superiority so that theirs can withstand any attack of conscience which Rome's actions shall cause.

Let their remaining insecurities be handed over to gods or government with an unfettered permission to fix and fiddle... to protect and preserve the only way of life they know. Let the Vestal flame be kept alive with the tinder of compromised integrity.

Let the hand of evil be bent to the service of Rome so that the gladius can be thrust and the javelin hurled against all who would harm the empire, without tarnishing the pure heart which commands it, without blinding the pure eye which witnesses it, and without corrupting the pure law which forbids it.

Let them carve in stone above it all "We act for the greater good."

Daily Report: Middle-Aged Tuesday

2007-12-11T21:38:00.000+07:00

I spent the morning blogging and working, while Epril spent the morning learning how to ride a bike. She pushes herself up and down the road, occasionally lifting up her feet and coasting for a while. Sometimes she can get in a tentative turn of the pedals before her balance gives way and she has to put her feet back down and start the process over again.

She has fallen over once, but after my urging her 3 or 4 times to wear a helmet, some gloves, and some shoes — as it was a 100% certainty that she would fall and hurt either head, hands, or feet in the process — she didn't come crying to me about it when she did. Life is rough. So is pavement apparently.

For lunch, we were out to Valentino's with Stan and Maid Lee. I had the spinach gnocchi in Gorgonzola cheese sauce, which was fantastic.

After that it was straight back home for some more work. Epril went back outside and gave the bike some more practice time... still without helmet, gloves, or shoes.

In the evening, Epril and I turned off the TV and just spent a quiet evening together, which was very nice. Asleep by 10:00... just the way my middle-aged self is starting to prefer it. (My 7:00 a.m. bedtime youthful self would cringe at the thought.) Saddest thing about it is that 10:00 p.m. in Pattaya is the about the peak hour for partying... although some would place it closer to midnight.

It is unsettling though: I was one of the biggest party people you'd ever meet 10 years ago, when I knew every nook, cranny, and character of the New York City nightlife... and now that I'm living in the midst of The World's Biggest Party™, I'm shutting out the lights at 10:00.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.

Yes... and oh how I wish to be ignorant of that fact once again. Instead, now I'm the one who insists on gloves and shoes for bike riding. They might as well start sending me my Social Security check now.

Happy 2,000th

2007-12-11T15:44:00.000+07:00

The post for Steve below was this blog's 2,000th post.

Memorial For Steve Blumenthal on the 14th

2007-12-11T14:40:00.000+07:00

Steve's photo credit:
Photo By LoveLife (JKConsultants)This coming Friday marks the 1-year anniversary of the death of Steve Blumenthal, one of my best friends, owner of TQ2, and one of the nicest guys to ever live here in Pattaya. In an effort to pay respect to Steve's life and the wonderful effect he had on so many of us, several of his friends have worked all year long raising money for a memorial for Steve.

They have raised 90,000 baht, and this Friday at 4:30, Steve's friends will be gathering at the Mercy Center orphanage to distribute a vast truckload of household items for the children which that money has purchased. Everyone is invited to attend, and if you haven't donated to Steve's memory already, the opportunity to donate at the orphanage will be made available if you chose to.

The Mercy Center is reached by taking Soi Nong Yai, which is opposite and just north of Pattaya North Road, and driving along until you turn right on Soi 8, past "Park Hill" until you see the place on your left. (See the map below for a general description... click for larger version.)
For those unable or unwilling to transport themselves, you can meet at Secrets Bar on Soi 14 off Walking Street at 3:30 p.m. to catch a ride at 4:00 p.m.

Even better: Here is a Google Maps to get you there.

View Larger Map

Are You Angry Yet? (Episode 6,573)

2007-12-11T10:05:00.000+07:00

A young American woman working for Halliburton/KBR in Iraq was repeatedly gang-raped by her fellow employees, while being held captive in a shipping container. She was only freed when she managed to get a phone call out to her father in Texas, who called his congressional represntative, who called the State Department, who called the American Embassy in Iraq, who went and rescued her.

Rape kit and evidence collected by the American military regarding the case have all dissappeared. No charges have been filed. No criminal investigation is currently being made.

An Interesting Example of Computer-Aided Design

2007-12-11T09:10:00.000+07:00

This is the Gomboc (site, article). It's really just a toy... a knickknack, but in its design is an amazing discovery: A geometric shape (importantly: of a single material and density throughout)that can only be balanced in one direction. In other words, because of it's shape alone, it can only come to balance with one specific surface on the bottom, no matter how much effort is made to keep it balanced otherwise. The discovery of this shape took years of computer research design; although the Hungarian scientists who created it do admit that the final shape they discovered does seem to have been produced by Mother Nature first... in the functionality of tortoise shells.

Pattaya News Roundup

2007-12-11T06:59:00.000+07:00

A guy trying to steal a free view to a charity concert given by the Lions Club of Naklua Pattaya nearly got himself killed. He fell bonkety-bonk out of the tree he was perched in so that he could see into the concert instead of paying the 200-baht entry fee. Sometimes the immediacy of karmic retribution is quite surprising, isn't it?

A german man had his mobile telephone stolen after buying the world's ugliest kathoey a few drinks at a bar down on Beach Road. Sometimes the immediacy of karmic retribution is quite surprising, isn't it? The thief was caught and the guy got his phone back. Hopefully he used the phone to call God and apologize for his bad taste in "women".

The "Old Persons Club of Pattaya" (that would be old Thai people; the "Old Persons Club of Pattaya" for farangs meets every Thursday night at TQ2) had a birthday party for Thailand's favorite old fellow, His Majesty. I love this picture: Note all the white hair on the old Thai people.

Daily Report: Don't Be Alarmed

2007-12-10T21:42:00.000+07:00

I've taken a friend's advice and started going to bed without turning on the alarm clock. It's actually something I had done before, and had found that I wake up much more refreshed, and only sleep about an hour longer than when I set the alarm for... and surprisingly, about I wind up getting out of bed 30 minutes sooner than when I stop banging on the snooze button.

I had a fun morning of blogging, getting the photos up from yesterday's outings. I miss photoshopping my photos... due to the death of my graphics computer... but at least I'm saving a little time. (However, blogging is never about saving time no matter how you look at it.)

I ordered Subway for lunch, while Epril went out shopping with Mike and Riza, and bought some new shoes. Today was Constitution Day in Thailand, a public holiday, so Mike's office was closed and he had a vacation day. I had a nap after lunch as per usual: More from eating a big loaf of bread than from any lack of sleep. Heck: It almost works better than a plate of spaghetti.

In the evening, of course, was Dr. Who. Thailand is a few years behind England in its episodes, and this was the episode where the old Dr. Who (#9, Christopher Eccleston) dies, and the new Dr. Who (#10, David Tennant) takes his place. I'm going to miss the old guy.